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Samantha, I don't know how to tell you this...but I was reading my Tattle Tale, and there's a picture of Smith.

Miranda! What in the world are you doin-greading something like that?

I love it. it's my thing. Let it go.

Smith is always in that rag.

Yeah, but this time...he's gay.

"Smith Jerrod cozies up to Broadway dancer, Marcus Adant..."and unidentified older gay gentleman." Poor Stanford.

Smith is not gay.

Of course not.

So this makes you his beard.

I'm a beard in a wig.

You're not upset?

Please, after the Big C, you don't sweat the small stuff. And besides, once the gay rumors start, it means you're really a star.

Hello?

Hi, sweetie. it's me.

Carrie, where are you?

Bad news. I don't think I'm gonna make it.

You can't come? Are you okay?

I'm fine. I'm just all the way downtown with the Russian...and it's very cold out.

She's still downtown, and it's too cold.

We haven't seen you in forever, and I have news. Elizabeth Taylor is going to be in a dog show. My Elizabeth Taylor.

Congratulations.

And Miranda really wants to talk to you, and Smith is gay.

What do you mean, you're not coming?

Smith is gay?

Don't change the subject. I came all the way from Brooklyn.

Who are you kidding? You'd use any Excuse to come in the city.

You owe me a trip to Brooklyn.

Carrie. We're fine, everything's fine. Smith is not gay. it's too cold to leave the house. You stay downtown with your hot man.

Okay.

Which is Exactly what I did for the next four days.