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v. 犯错，做错 v. 偏离，入歧途
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Tailor: Sex!
Mike: Well...well what happens when the sex goes away?
Tailor: We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Mike: Ah, excuse me, do you mind if I change this song?
Tailor: What have you got against the shoop shoop song?
Mike: It's a very long story.
Tailor: Let me show you some cummerbunds.
Radio: All phone lines are open, sports fans, 'cause it's time for, "Ask the Coach"; the man
who knows all the men, with all the answers.
Mike: Ask the Coach?
Radio: That's right! Ask the Coach.
Coach: Whoever the hell is calling me on my one and only stinking day to sleep late? Better
have a pretty good, dandy reason!! Hello.
Operator: Collect call from your favourite former student. Oh, sure, sure, put him on!
Mike: Yo! Coach!
Coach: Robby Countryman, so how are you doing?
Mike: Oh, no, coach, it's not Robby, it's...it's Mike.
Coach: Mike who?
Mike: Mike Seaver.
Coach: My favourite former student?
Mike: Remember back in high school, you said that if I ever had a problem, I could talk to
you?
Coach: No. But go ahead anyway. But make it fast, this is my Nickel.
Mike: OK, alright, well see...I...I...I'm engaged now and my fiancée is the greatest. But it's
just that, I still don't know if what I'm doing is the right thing.
Coach: I said, fast.
Mike: Why do people get married?
Coach: Why? well, what the hell else are they gonna do?
Mike: What do you mean?
Coach: Look, Seaver, you're a man. I'm assuming your fiancée is a woman. You meet, you get
married, for you, for me, for everybody.
Mike: Oh well coach, I don't understand.
Coach: Well that's because we're talking about the mystery of love here.
Mike: Well, what's that?
Coach: If I knew, it wouldn't be a mystery, lug nut!
Mike: Oh, so you don't understand it either?
Coach: I don't have to understand it, I'm living it. Look, Seaver, isn't there somebody else you
could talk to about this...in your own area code?
Mike: Yeah, I guess.
Coach: I'm gonna go back to bed. And if you ever, ever, ever call me about something like this
again...I'll be here.
Mike: Thanks coach.
Coach: Just don't make it collect.
Mike: Alright. See ya. They'll know.
Grandpa: Mike!
Grandma: Hi Mikey!!
Mike: Hi Grandma!
Grandma: So glad to see you!
Grandpa: Your father isn't with you, is he?
Mike: No.
Grandpa: Good to see you.
Mike: Thanks. Yeah, I thought that...err...the heckers!! As long as I was in your lobby I might
as well come up and say hi.
Grandma: Well, you can surprise me, anytime.
Grandpa: Oh, that's what your grandmother tells me too.
Grandma: Oh Bobby!
Mike: Yeah, I...errm...just wanted to see how you two love birds were doing.
Grandma: Well, we were just going to have our...errm...fibre. Care to join us?
Mike: Ah...sure, sure, heck, give me a scoop.
Grandma: What's the matter?
Mike: Nothing. Nothing, Grandma. Nothing's the matter. Julie's...err...got her gown, and I've
almost got my tuxedo, and...err...we're meeting the minister today at the church...
Grandma: Michael!
Grandpa: Are you...err...having second thoughts, Mike?
Mike: No! Now look, are we gonna talk about this or are we gonna have some fibre? Alright, if
I tell you guys something, can you keep it a secret?
Grandpa: You can trust me. I've never told anybody about your grandmother's tattoo.
Grandma: Oh Wally!
Grandpa: Yes, but I didn't tell him where it is.
Grandma: Ignore him honey!
Mike: OK. What was the reason that you two got married?
Grandma: Oh, when you love somebody and you know it, what else do you need?
Mike: Yeah, but how can you know that?
Grandma: How can you not?
(in Mike's head)
Coach: You meet, you get married, that's how it works.
Carol: You and Julie are starting "a" life together...one life.
Maggie: You're getting married because this is what you wanna do, and you know all the
reasons why.
Jason: Is it in her face? No, no, that's just her charm. In her warm embrace? No, no, no, that's
just her arm. If you wanna know, if she loves you so, it's in her kiss, that's where it is. Shoop
shoop.
Bar Tender: The oldest man ever to play in the Major Leagues?
Customer 1: Minnie Mannose.
Bar Tender: Wrong.
Customer 2: Sergio Page.
Customer 1: I got one for you Nick; the last man in the National League, to win the Triple
Crown?
Customer 2: Joe Dockey Medwick, St. Louis, Nineteen hundred and thirty seven.
Customer 1: Hey, you're good pal!
Customer 2: Ask me anything.
Mike: Why do people get married?
Bar Tender: Look son, we're talking sports.
Customer 2: Hey, marriage can be a sport.
Customer 1: Yeah! A contact sport!
Mike: Well, no, no, I'm serious! I mean, I've asked basically everyone that I know, and all I
can come up with is, that I know as much as anybody else.
Customer 2: Then kid, you know it all.
Bar Tender: How can he know it all? He's only a kid.
Customer 1: What do you know, kid?
Mike: Well, I know that Julie loves me.
Customer 1: Well, that's a start. I mean, if it's Julie you're gonna marry.
Bar Tender: Wait, wait, wait, wait! If this girl wants to marry him, that...that makes the
marriage right?
Mike: Well, she's usually right.
Bar Tender: Are you sure?
Mike: Look, I can't ever remember her being wrong. I mean, Julie is smarter than me. And
she knows more than me, and she is definitely more mature than me.
Customer 2: A man needs a mature woman.
Mike: If Julie doesn't have any doubts, then...what am I worried about? I am going to marry
Julie.
Bar Tender: Are you sure?
Mike: I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life. Look, I can't thank you
guys enough for helping me put all this together. Thanks. I am going to meet my future wife.
Mike: Here comes the groom, riding the...
Woman: Can I help you?
Mike: Ah, yes, I'm sorry. My name's Michael Seaver, and my fiancée and I are meeting the
minister here at one o' clock.
Woman: Mr. Seaver, yes. Well, this was left for you.
Mike: Oh, well thank you.
(Mike reads the letter in his head, from Julie.)
Julie: Dear Mike, by the time you read this, I'll be on a plane. I have never written a letter like
this before, so I don't know how to start. I've been thinking about you and me and marriage,
and, well I know you think that all the time I've been the mature and the sure one. But I have
to say, that when it comes to us, you've been the mature one.
Mike: I've been the mature one?
(He continues reading from the letter)
Julie: Don't deny it. I just want to know, how you can know so much. Mike, I've got so many
questions, and I've got so many doubts. And maybe I'm crazy, or just scared out of my mind.
I just don't know, maybe it's just cold feet. But all I know right now, is that I can't go through
with this. And I wanted to tell you all this this morning when you came by, but how could I? I
mean you looked so determined with all those invitations under your arm. Well, by the time I
got up my courage, I ran out to the hall way and you were already gone. And look, I know my
confusion must be hard for you to understand.
Mike: It's not that hard.
Julie's letter: Mike, I'm sorry. I wished I could be more like you...but I'm not. So, take care of
yourself. Love Julie.
(In Mike's memory)
Julie: Before you go, one last kiss?
Mike: See ya.
Julie: Bye.
Mike: Julie, I'm scared out of my mind, I don't know if this is just cold feet, or what? I am not
sure about...anything.
Mike: Well, I'd say I got a bargain.
Boner: And I'd say, you've lost your mind.
Mike: It says, a man lives here.
Boner: Mike, well if it says anything, shoot it.
Mike: Alright, well here, hold my moose. Alright, got it?
Boner: Yep. Yo, Mikey, are you alive, or what?
Mike: Alive and kicking.
- 阅读本文的人还阅读了：
上一篇：成长的烦恼第五季 第1集
下一篇：成长的烦恼第五季 第3集
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