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Ken: So, what we have is a stock, which should yield significant profits, Dr. Seaver.
Jason: Please, call me Jason.
Ken: But, I also have to tell you that all stocks can go down, Jason.
Grandma: Son, Ken handles all of our investments; we swear by him.
Wally: Oh, gosh, darn it, we do!
Jason: Dr. Seaver'll be fine.
Maggie: Ken, I think we've heard enough.
Jason: Yeah, we're not interested.
Maggie: We'll invest.
Jason: Oh?
Maggie: Excuse us. Jason, your mother went to the trouble of brining her stock broker all the
way out here.
Jason: Maggie, he's just a boy. He doesn't even shave; I already give money to a kid who
doesn't shave, his name's Mike.
Maggie: Fine! You embarrass your mother.
Jason: Ken, look, we...errm... We'd love to invest.
Ken: Well that's great. Well, I'll need a cheque for a thousand Dollars.
Carol: Hello everybody!
Grandma: Hey Carol!
Carol: Grandpa Wally!
Grandma: There you are! Where have you been?
Carol: Shopping with friends. I didn't know you'd be here.
Jason: Yeah. You saved some big time money, Carol.
Grandma: Can you meet Ken? Stock broker, recent Harvard graduate. Carol Seaver. Ken
Single.
Ken: Oh, Singleton. Hi Carol. I've heard a lot about you.
Carol: Hi.
Grandma: Oh, I'm very proud of my beautiful, intelligent and completely unattached, Grand
daughter.
Carol: Well, I've got a lot of stuff to do upstairs. Bye.
Grandma: But Carol...
Jason: Alright Ken! Here you are...one thousand Dollars!
Ken: Thank you Dr. Seaver. Oh...you forgot to sign it.
Jason: Oh! Imagine that. Alright.
Ken: Well, Mrs. Seaver, Wally, Urma, I hope to see you soon.
Grandma: Oh, hopefully very soon.
Jason: Bye bye Ken.
Maggie: Bye Ken.
Grandma: Well, what do you think?
Jason: Well, Mom, I think it could be a risky investment...
Grandma: Oh, not about the investment, Jason. Now I didn't have him out here to sell you
kids. I brought him out here to meet Carol.
Jason and Maggie: You did!?
Grandma: Well, don't you think he's just perfect for her?
Maggie: Well actually, he is...
Jason: Well excuse me, but Ken, the guy I just wrote a cheque for a thousand Dollars to,
does he or does he not handle your money?
Wally: Well yeah! Not very well.
Wally: Bone head idea!!
Jason: Look Mom, I'm sorry. In fairness to you I wouldn't have spent the grand, if I hadn't
listened to Maggie's Prattle.
Maggie: Maggie's Prattle!
Jason: Let me put it another way...
Wally: I wouldn't if I were you.
Grandma: Well, I never expected you to invest. You're usually so...so...so...
Maggie: Cheap?
Grandma: Right. Jason, I'm really worried about Carol. Ever since her young man died in that
terrible accident, she hasn't gone out at all; and that's not right. She needs someone to do for
her, what you did for me after Dad died. You got me out. If it hadn't been for you, I never
would have met Wally.
Wally: Yeah! And that one act makes up for all your other shortcomings.
Jason: Mom, Maggie, listen if I thought that fixing her up with Ken here was necessary, believe
me, I'd gladly pay a thousand Dollars. In fact, I did.
Grandma: So Maggie, here's my idea; Wally and I are gonna throw a little party on Saturday
night. And I will tell Carol that Ken is just dying to ask...
Jason: Excuse me!
Grandma: ...her out. And I'll mention that the party is a nice, safe place for a girl...
Jason: Mother!
Grandma: ...to be. And I'll get Ken to ask her out.
Maggie: Oh, how are you gonna get him to do that?
Grandma: Well, I will tell him that Jason wants to invest more.
Jason: Hold it!
Wally: Boy, you are tight.
Jason: It's not the money. It's just that these lies aren't necessary. I mean, look, if you wanna
invite Carol, you wanna invite Ken, you put them together and let nature take its course...fine.
Grandma: Maggie, he's right.
Maggie: I know. Does it irritate you as much as it does me.
Grandma: Well honey, you're the psychiatrist.
Jason: Carol! No apology necessary. A lot of lay people would make the same mistake. No
pressure.
Carol: Yeah.
Jason: Carol, Grandma and Wally are gonna have a party on Saturday night.
Carol: Oh? What's the occasion?
Grandma: Oh, our...our...anniversary.
Maggie: And we're all invited.
Grandma: And because of the romantic flavour of the evening, it is couples only.
Jason: Mom, we agreed!
Carol: I have to bring a date!
Grandma: Ah, speaking of that...ah, you know Ken, the young man you just met, he is dying
to ask you out, isn't he Maggie?
Maggie: Oh, you bet.
Jason: Maggie!
Wally: Say, why don't you just have him take you to our party?
Grandma: Right!
Carol: I really don't know...
Jason: Carol, there's no pressure here, OK? If you don't wanna bring a date sweetheart...
Grandma: You can't come.
Carol: I can't go out with this guy.
Maggie: Why not?
Carol: Well, because I'm already seeing someone.
Jason: You are?
Carol: Yes. Someone from work. And, well, we promised each other that we wouldn't see other
people.
Wally: Oh?
Maggie: Really?
Jason: See! Carol, I think that's just terrific, I think it's very nice...What do you mean, you're
going steady with a guy and we haven't even met him?!
Carol: Well, it never seemed like the right time.
Jason: Well, then...I'll be looking forward to meeting your sweet heart on Saturday.
Carol: Saturday? I don't think he can.
Jason: Well then fine. Well then, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday... I don't care Carol,
but I would like to meet any guy that you consider has to be kept some deep, dark secret!
Carol: Right, Saturday's fine.
Maggie: No pressure.
Mike: Hey Dad, can I borrow... Hey! Hey Wally! Hi!
Grandma: Hey Mike!
Jason: Hey Mike, what do you know about this guy, Carol's been seeing?
Mike: He's desperate. Just a guess.
Maggie: Jason, it's not Carol's style to keep the guy she's dating a secret.
Mike: Yeah, but it sure makes sense from the guys point of you.
Ben: I look forward so, to our evening together. Yes I'll wear a tie. Good bye.
Mike: What the heck was all that about?
Ben: I just made a date for Saturday night with the lovely Laura Linn.
Mike: Saturday night! You mean, you're taking a date to Grandma's party?
Ben: Everybody's supposed to.
Mike: Hey Carol, are you taking a date to Grandma's party?
Carol: You too! What is it with you people? I don't interfere with your lives, must you interfere
in mine.
Mike: So is that a yes?
Carol: Yes. Yes. Of course I have a date, I must have a date. I'm gonna see him at work. My
sweetheart, my honey man! Shall I take pictures for you?
Mike and Ben: Honey man??
Estelle: Morning Carol.
Carol: Morning Estelle. Have you ever noticed, how few men work in this building?
Estelle Every miserable day for the last twenty eight years! Ah, come on, we'll make room.
Carol: That's OK Estelle. I'm waiting for one with men.
Estelle That will never come.
Big Al: Top of the day Carol.
Carol: Hi Big Al.
Big Al: What, is something hanging out of my nose again?
Carol: No, no. Big Al, how old are you?
Big Al: forty three.
Carol: Well that's acceptable nowadays, isn't it?
Big Al: I sure hope so.
Carol: It would serve 'em right, too.
Big Al: Who?
Carol: Look, I need to ask you for a silly favour.
Big Al: Will it hurt?
Carol: Just a second. Hi.
Chuck: Hi.
Carol: Look. I don't usually do things like this, but my name's Carol Seaver, and I need to be
seen somewhere, Saturday night, with a date and...
Chuck: Hey, sounds great!
Carol: Really?
Chuck: Yeah.
Carol: Well, that's wonderful! That's fabulous! Oh, does that take the pressure off of me! So,
we have a date?
Chuck: Chuck.
Carol: Chuck. Pleased to meet you.
Chuck: Just so we don't have a misunderstanding, I'd like you to know my philosophy on
dating.
Carol: Well, let's not rush...
Chuck: No no no! First, I don't see dating as social interaction between men and women.
Carol: No?
Chuck: No, I see dating as an opportunity for sexual experimentation. And since you asked me
out, I think it's your call, what's your pleasure? Hey, you read my mind. Hey wait, you didn't
give me your address...
Big Al: Ah...so, what is it?
Carol: Never mind, I just feel stupid.
Big Al: Well, at least you feel something.
Carol: OK. Well, I need to be seen somewhere Saturday night with a date...
Big Al: I'll go.
Carol: You will?
Big Al: Sure. Mother will just have to do her aerobics alone.
Carol: Oh thank you.
Big Al: My pleasure.
Carol: It's a family party.
Big Al: What is?
Carol: Where you're taking me to.
Big Al: Is a bow tie too crazy for them?
