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Hey, Pheebs. I'm having dinner with my dad tomorrow night. Do you wanna come?
菲比，明晚我要跟我爸一起吃饭。你要来吗？
Sure, yeah. He's kind of sexy.
好啊，他挺性感的。
Oh no, no, I'll be there too.
不，我也会去。
Okay so, we'll just come up with some kind of signal if it's going well you can take off.
行，那么我们得想个暗号。如果一切进行顺利，你可以离开。
No Phoebe! I just need you there for support. I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet.
不，我是要你过去陪我。我还没有告诉他我怀孕了。
Oh. Why not?
为什么？
Because I know he's gonna flip out, and I hate it when he's angry.
因为我知道他会气炸了，我讨厌他生气的样子。
Rachel, this is all so "Papa Don't Preach."
瑞秋，这跟《爸爸别说教》如出一辙。
No, Phoebe, wait. He's a scary guy. I mean, one time he caught me smoking. He said if he ever saw me doing that again, he'd make me eat the entire pack.
不，菲比，等一下。他非常严厉。我是说，有次他抓到我抽烟。他说如果他再看到我抽烟，他就逼我把一整包烟吃掉。
Wow. Well, I will be there. Gosh, I'm not gonna let that man make you eat your baby!
那我一定得去。天啊。我不会让那个男人逼你把宝宝吃掉。
Hey, who is that guy? I think I know him.
那个家伙是谁？我想我认识他。
No, you don't. No, you don't.
才怪。 你怎么会认识。
Oh, my God! Monica, he's the stripper from your bachelorette party!
天啊，莫妮卡！他是你单身女郎派对上的脱衣舞男！
Her what?
她的什么？
Your secret bachelorette party.
你的秘密单身女郎派对。
You had a bachelorette party?
你办了单身女郎派对？
She untied his G string with her teeth. Somebody stop me!
她用牙解开了他的丁字裤。谁快让我住嘴！
I thought we weren't gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Y' know, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
我们不是说好不办单身汉或单身女郎派对吗。我们都觉得这个传统很愚蠢。
It's a grand tradition!
那个传统棒极了！
I'm sorry. They surprised me. There was nothing I could do.
抱歉，她们给了我一个大惊喜。我真的没有办法。
Well, you could've untied it with your hands.
你可以用手解嘛。
This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasn't allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
这太不公平了。我非常想帮我最好的朋友办单身汉派对，却不能那么做。我们只能一起去吃牛排。
You went home with the waitress.
女服务生跟你回家睡了。
Yeah, that was a pretty good night.
哦是的，那一晚真的很美妙。
I can't believe you didn't tell me! You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty!
我不敢相信你没有告诉我。你知道婚姻的两大支柱是公开跟诚实。
Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass!
我就知道送你那本书总有一天我自己会遭报应。
How about I order everyone the Moroccan chicken?
我帮大家点摩洛哥鸡肉怎么样？
Oh, I I don't eat meat.
我不吃肉。
It's chicken!
那是鸡肉！
Yeah, I don't eat that either.
那个我也不吃。
I'll never understand you lesbians.
我一直都搞不懂你们女同志。
So, baby, tell me, what's new with you?
宝贝，告诉我，你最近怎么样？
Well, actually... Your '74 Lafite, sir.
事实上…… 您的74年拉菲红酒，先生。
'74? I ordered the '75. That's a magnificent wine. The '74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?
74年？我点的是75年的，那一年的酒味道醇美。74年的酒烂透了！你为什么要给我上那么烂的酒？
Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why you're a waiter?
这个问题很难吗？你是白痴吗？所以你才会来当服务生？
This is why I told the manager I wouldn't wait on you tonight.
这就是我告诉经理今晚不想为你服务的原因。
Oh, come on. Don't be such a baby.
少来了，别那么幼稚。
In case you didn't notice, that is a scary man.
你应该注意到了，他真的很吓人。
He's right, though. The '74 is absolute piss.
但他说得对，74年的酒真的很难喝。
This was such a huge mistake. I can't tell him, Phoebe. I can't. I can't. I can't.
这是个天大的错误。我不敢告诉他，菲比，我做不到。
Rachel... No, it's okay.
瑞秋…… 没事。
This is what's gonna happen. I'm gonna wait a couple of years, and then the baby will tell him.
这样吧，我再等上几年，然后宝宝会告诉他。
Why? So he can get mad at the baby?
怎么？让他拿宝宝撒气吗？
Hey, that is the baby's problem.
那就是宝宝要解决的问题了。
Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
服务生没问题吧？
I have no idea. I went to the bathroom.
我不知道，我去了洗手间。
So, sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
甜心，你刚才准备告诉我你的近况。
Well… Umm, I got TiVo.
我有了。
What's TiVo? It's slang for "pregnant."
什么是有了？ 就是怀孕的意思。
Phoebe!
菲比！
Are you really pregnant?
你真的怀孕了吗？
Well, yes and no. Except, not no. So to sum it up, yeah.
对也不对。但"不对"是不对的答案。总而言之，对。
Who is the father? Oh, no. Please don't tell me it's her.
孩子的爸爸是谁？不，拜托，别告诉就是她。
No, it's Ross. It's Ross. You like Ross.
不，是罗斯，你喜欢罗斯。
Oh daddy, I hope you're okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. You're gonna-This is your first grandchild! You're gonna be a poppy!
爸爸，我希望你能接受这件事。想一想，这是件好事。这是你第一个外孙！你要当外公了！
That's true. Poppy! I'm gonna be a poppy!
没错，我要当外公了！我要当外公了！
So when is the wedding? The who?
所以，婚礼什么时候举行？ 谁的婚礼？
The wedding. There's going to be a wedding.
婚礼。你们得举行婚礼。
Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard!
小姑娘，你休想坐在那里告诉我，我的第一个外孙会是个私生子。
Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!
瑞秋·凯伦·格林告诉我你们会举行婚礼。
February 2nd!
二月二日举行。
So it was really cool seeing you lecture today.
今天去看你上课感觉很棒。
Oh thanks. Although it kinda seemed like you were falling asleep there a little.
谢谢，虽然我觉得你看起来像是睡着了。
Oh no no, I I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and y' know take it all in.
不不，我闭上眼睛是为了专心听讲，好好消化吸收。
Yeah, a lot of my students do that.
我很多学生都会那么做。
So, I gotta get going. Okay, I I'll see you tonight.
我得走了。 好的，今晚见。
Yeah. Okay, bye.
好。 再见。
Oh hey, thanks again for showing me your semiprecious stone collection. It's amazing.
谢谢你让我参观你收集的半宝石。真的很棒。
My God, you must be good in bed.
天啊，你的床上功夫一定很厉害。
So you and Mona, it's been a while now. How's it going?
你跟蒙娜交往了一阵子，情况如何？
It's good. It's going good. I mean, we get along great. She's, She's so... Hot?
很不错。我们处得很好，她很…… 辣？
Well, I was gonna say sweet, but yeah huh!
我本来说很温柔，但你答对了！
She's okay with Rachel and the baby?
她能接受瑞秋和宝宝的事吗？
Well I…I haven't actually told her yet. I don't want to scare her off, y' know?
我还没有告诉她。我不想吓跑她。
Well, you have to be honest with her! Otherwise you may think that you're going down the same path, but you're really going down different ones.
你得老实说。不然的话，你以为你们的方向一致，事实上你们走上了不同的道路。
I'm gonna take that book and I'm gonna beat you to death with it.
我要把那本书抢过来，拿它把你打死。
Oh my God! You are gonna love me so much! I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight you're gonna have a bachelor party.
天啊，你一定会爱死我的。关于单身女郎派对的事，我真的很过意不去。所以今晚你要办单身汉派对。
What?
什么？
Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what? !
我在餐厅的同事给了我一个电话号码，我雇了一个脱衣舞娘来跳舞给你看。我可以进太太名人堂了吧？
Honey, that's crazy. I don't want you to get me a stripper...
亲爱的，这太疯狂了，我不要脱衣舞娘……
Will you let the lady talk?
你能让她说完吗？
Come on! Come on, it'll be fun. It'll make me feel so much better.
来吧，一定会很好玩的。这样会让我觉得好过一点。
Look, I appreciate it, but it's a little creepy. You know I'm not a bachelor anymore.
听着，我很感激。但这样有点奇怪。我已经不是单身汉了。
So don't think of it as a bachelor party. Think of it as a two month anniversary present.
所以别把它当成是单身汉派对。把它当成是结婚两个月的礼物。
Sure. One year is paper, but two months is lap dance.
当然，结婚一年是纸婚，两个月的话可以看艳舞。
Please, I feel so bad. Just watch the hot woman get naked!
拜托，我觉得好过意不去。就去看看那个辣妹脱光衣服吧！
All right fine! But I'm only doing this for you! Yeah!
好吧，但我这么做是为了你。 太帅了。
And Joey.
还有乔伊。
Thank you. All right, now who else do you want to invite?
谢谢，你还想邀请谁？
Ah, no no no just Ross. Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough.
不不不，光罗斯跟乔伊就够丢脸了。
Actually, sorry, I can't even make it. I'm seeing Mona again tonight.
抱歉，我没办法去，今晚我跟蒙娜有约。
I understand: who would cancel an actual date just to go to a fake bachelor party?
我懂，谁会为了假单身汉派对取消真正的约会？
I'm sorry. I gotta cancel tonight, baby.
抱歉，我得取消今晚的约会，宝贝。
I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but I'm really busy that day.
抱歉我无法参加你想像出来的婚礼，那天我很忙。
Yeah, I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.
我得参加独角兽受洗礼跟小精灵的戒酒会。
I know, I know. I panicked. I panicked. I didn't want him to start yelling at me like I was some '74 Latour.
我知道，我乱了方寸。我不想让他对着我大叫，把我当成74年拉图红酒。
It's Lafite. The '74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
是拉菲。74年拉图红酒喝起来真的很不错。
All right here he comes. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna tell him, I'm gonna be strong.
好吧，他来了。我得告诉他。我会很坚强。
I just called a friend of mine. I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice.
我刚刚给一个朋友打了电话。我应该可以在这么短的时间内订到广场饭店。
Really? The Plaza? Oh, Daddy! Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please sit down.
真的吗？广场饭店？爸爸！爸爸，我得跟你谈一谈，请坐。
What is it, sweetie?
什么事，宝贝？
There's not gonna be a wedding. Ross and I aren't getting married. What?
我们不会举行婚礼。罗斯跟我不会结婚。 什么？
I'm sorry, Daddy. I don't believe this!
对不起，爸爸。 我不敢相信！
Daddy, stay calm, please.
爸爸，请保持冷静。
Stay calm? How do you expect me to stay calm? This is unacceptable, Rachel. And I wanna know why!
保持冷静？你叫我怎么保持冷静？我完全无法接受，瑞秋。我要知道为什么！
Is it because that punk Ross won't marry you? That's it. Is that it?
因为那个混蛋不愿意娶你吗？是那样吗？
Yes. Yes, he says I'm damaged goods.
对，他说我是瑕疵品。
So, you nervous about getting married?
快结婚了，你很紧张吧？
What are you doing?
你这是搞什么名堂？
Look, look let's pretend it's a real bachelor party. Okay? Y' know? Before your wedding. Come on, it'll be fun.
我们假装这是你结婚前的单身汉派对。那样比较好玩。
All right. I can't believe tomorrow's the big day.
好吧。我不敢相信明天是我的大喜之日。
How does it feel knowing you're never gonna be with another woman again?
知道你再也没法跟别的女人在一起你有什么感觉？
Knowing you're gonna have to wake up to the same face every day until you finally have the sweet release of death.
知道你每天醒过来都会看到同一张脸，直到死神来拯救你。
You're right. This is more fun.
你说得对，这样比较好玩。
That's her! Okay, come on!
她来了，快点！
Hi! Hi.
嗨。 嗨。
So which one of you lucky boys is Chandler?
哪个幸运儿是钱德勒？
Uh, that that's that's me!
是我。
That's me!
是我！
Joey Tribbiani. Big fan.
乔伊·崔比安尼。你的头号粉丝。
So is that a bedroom?
那是卧室吗？
Yeah, right over there. All right. Whenever you're ready.
对，就在那边。 好吧，你准备好就进来。
That was weird.
那好奇怪。
Why why would she go in the bedroom? I'm waiting.
她为什么要到卧室去？ 我等着呢。
So she's a... Yeah, that's one naked hooker.
她是…… 她是脱光衣服的妓女。
I love your place. Where is this guy from?
我喜欢你家。这玩意从哪里来的？
That's an 18th century Indian artifact from Calcutta.
那是在加尔各答买的18世纪印度工艺品。
Oh wow! So, you're more than just dinosaurs.
原来你不只喜欢研究恐龙。
So much more.
我涉猎很广的。
Oh, my God! Oh my God! I am so sorry!
天啊，我很抱歉！
Forget it. It's from Pier 1. Sorry.
算了，其实那是在一号码头商店买的。抱歉。
You think you can knock up my daughter and then not marry her? I'm gonna kill you!
你以为你可以搞大我女儿的肚子然后不娶她吗？我要杀了你！
You know, this is actually not a great time for me.
事实上，我现在真的很不方便。
So come on. Explain yourself, Geller. First, you get my Rachel pregnant.
快解释给我听，盖勒。你先让我的瑞秋怀孕。
You got Rachel pregnant?
你让瑞秋怀孕了？
Who did? You did!
谁干的？ 就是你！
Yes. Yes, yes I did. But but it was, it was just a one night thing. It meant nothing.
是的。没错，但那是一夜情，那毫无意义。
Oh? Really? That's what my daughter means to you, nothing?
真的吗？我女儿对你来说毫无意义？
No! No sir umm, she means a lot to me. I mean, I care-I I love Rachel.
不不，她对我来说意义重大。我在乎……我爱瑞秋。
What? Oh but not that way.
什么？ 但不是那种爱。
I mean…I mean I'm not in love with her. I love her like a, like a friend.
我没有爱上她，我把她当成朋友。
Really? That's how you treat a friend, you get her in trouble and then refuse to marry her?
你就是那样对待朋友的吗？你搞大她的肚子又不肯娶她？
Hey, I offered to marry her. But I didn't want to.
我有跟她求婚，但我不是真心的。
Well, why not? So you can spend your time with this tramp?
为什么？因为你想跟这个荡妇鬼混？
