Jason: No.
Paul: Then let me show you.
Jason: Wow.
Paul: Yeah. Alright!
Jason: A male secretary?!
Paul: Come on! Where have you been, Jase?
Jason: Well, it's just that I've never had a secretary with hairier legs than mine! Once maybe,
but that's another story. I really have to thank you and Phil, for letting me use this office.
Paul: Hey, jees, hey please, don't mention Phil, huh? He's off at a Zurich conference, and I'm
stuck here with a double patient load!
Jason: Ah well, at least you're not bitter about it.
Paul: Nice furniture, huh?
Jason: Are you kidding!
Paul: I own it, but I leased it back to myself, through my own corporation, for a double rent
off!
Jason: You still practise psychiatry though?
Paul: Nice chair, huh? It vibrates!
Jason: Oh good, I thought it was me.
Paul: And, it's got a built in phone!
Jason: No.
Paul: OK, let's see now; You know about the day-care centre, You know there's a running track
on the roof here! Wow wow wow wow wow, I've gotta get going, I've got two patients waiting
for me.
Jason: Alright, well if you get swamped this week, I'd be happy to pitch in!
Paul: Oh, I may take you up on that.
Jason: I'll just have my chair call your chair. Hello! Hello!
Maggie: He has got to be kidding! Thelma, have you seen this assignment sheet?
Thelma: No.
Maggie: Thelma, you typed it!
Thelma: Well yeah, but I didn't read it; that way, I don't get involved.
Maggie: I'm supposed to do a feature entitled, "Winterizing your dog". So, rather than writing
an insightful, respectable, journalistic piece for Esquire magazine, I'll be showing people how
to put snow tyres on their Shiatsus
Thelma: Nice alliteration.
Maggie: So, this is the day, I take a stand. Mr. Sedlovich, I am a darn good reporter, and I
have worked very hard to show you that, but it's not easy when the biggest story I have done
in months is, "Gingivitis, are your gums trying to tell you something!"
Boss: I have failed to make use of your journalistic talent. I accept full responsibility, as of
today, I'm out of here.
Maggie: Well, I didn't mean that you had to quit!
Boss: I didn't quit, I'm fired!
Maggie: You're kidding!
Boss: No. I'm fired. If I were kidding, I would not be packing all of my worldly possessions into
this incredibly smelly box. Do you want my happy feet?
Maggie: Oh, Mr. Sedlovich, how can they do this to you?
Boss: Station manager's unhappy with our image, so we hired a media consulted. He
consulted. I'm gone.
Maggie: But that is so unfair. Well, what if we're all gone?
Boss: Oh, I don't think you have to worry, Maggie, I said some very nice things about you. Of
course, I said some very nice things about me too, and look what happened. Well, I guess
that's about it.
Maggie: Mr. Sedlovich, if there's anything I can do, let me know. I mean it...anything.
Boss: You know, I might take a shot at print journalism again. That guy from Esquire that
keeps calling you, what's his number?
Maggie: Oh, it's five six five it's... Wait a second, I... Mr. Sedlovich, I may need that number...
Boss: Bye Maggie.
Maggie: Bye Sid.
Boss: Bye office. No number, no feet.
Mike: Oh great Mom, you're home!
Maggie: Oh you are...
Mike: Yeah, I forgot Dad was at work, and I thought I might have to make my own dinner.
Maggie: Good to see you too, Mike.
Mike: Oh, Mom, you've had a hard day at work, huh? Maggie listen, you should really ease up,
I mean you're getting some major frown lines.
Maggie: If you value your life Mike, back off.
Jason: Ha ha, hello Maggie, hello Mike.
Mike: Dad, get a grip on yourself.
Maggie: Well you seem to have had a good day.
Jason: Good, doesn't begin to describe it Maggie. I had a great day!! I'm telling you, I had the
most fabulous office, the people down there are terrific, and today two...count 'em...two
doctors consulted me on their cases. I have never been so excited! How was your day?
Maggie: My boss was fired, and I may be next!
Maggie: Oh Jason, it's like a morgue down at the station. They hired a media consulted to
change our whole image, and today he was deciding who to can.
Jason: Oh, honey, just because you're being evaluated doesn't mean you're going to be fired.
You're a good reporter, they're gonna realise that.
Maggie: That's true. I am a good reporter.
Jason: Remember that story of Gingivitis, please!! And that cute little dog wedding! Honey,
when that little beagle caught the bouquet in his teeth, I cried!
Maggie: Oh, Jason!!
Carol: Can I get you anything else; cereal, a doughnut, eggs Florentine with hollandaise
sauce...
Frank: I'm fine.
Carol: You're telling me.
Jason: Hi Carol, hey as long as you're fixing breakfast, can I get a scrambled egg?
Carol: Dad, you want me to be late for work!
Jason: Hi, Franky, I got a whole new way to go!!! You don't take suggestions well, do you?
Frank: Sorry.
Jason: Well, I just figured that...err...you know if you're tearing out all these book shelves
anyway, why not put in...I don't know...a whole wall of Japanese screens. You know, maybe do
the rest of the room in some blue/grey tones, huh?
Frank: I think I should have charged you by the hour.
Jason: Yeah. Well, I gotta run...my colleagues are expecting me. Well I guess I can't put it off
any longer, I better get into the office.
Maggie: Oh, honey, you don't have to fake being down for me, I'm fine.
Jason: You sure?
Maggie: Yeah, what can I do? It's out of my hands.
Jason: Well, that's a very good attitude.
Maggie: But, if what I think is going to happen to me happens, and you have another great
day...fake your little heart.
Maggie: They won't fire Dr. Claus, he's being doing the weather for ever. Dr. Claus, not you
too!
Dr. Claus: Auf wiedersein.
Maggie: Well if that's the way they're going to be, I don't care if they fire me.
Colleague: Oh God, I hope they don't fire me.
Patient: So, I thought maybe I was wrong about my wife wanting to work.
Jason: Then, we're making progress.
Patient: I took your advice. I told her, you don't wanna be at home anymore, fine.
Jason: Bravo.
Patient: Haven't seen her for three days.
Jason: I'm very sorry.
Patient: I'm not. I'm just waiting for the day she comes waddling home, with her tale between
her legs. Excuse me, Dr. Seaver, is that your chair ringing?
Jason: Yeah, my secretary will get it. Alright, time's up Mr. Lapepki, and we'll be meeting again
next week, but that will be back home, at my place.
Patient: Ah, I knew this place was too good to last.
Jason: Hey, Kevin, Kevin. Kevin did you get that call through to my wife?
Kevin: Yeah, they said she was in a meeting.
Paul: Hey, you got a minute, Jase?
Jason: Yeah sure, come on in. What is it?
Paul: Well, Phil called from Zurich this morning, he's taken a teaching job there.
Jason: Oh, you're kidding! What a great opportunity for him! Teaching and great cheese
whenever you want it.
Paul: Well, it's a great opportunity for him, but what about me? I mean, he's abandoned me,
just like my father did when I was a child; I was only five years old, which, as you know, is a
very vulnerable age.
Jason: Well there's a reason your father abandoned you, Paul; he hated you! Everybody hates
you!
Paul: Is this the way you talk to all your patients?
Jason: Well, I do when I think they're trying to con me about something.
Paul: Oh, I don't believe this! After twenty years of friendship, college, professional
relationship! Jason, do you really think I'd be less than honest with you?
Jason: Oh yeah!
Paul: OK, you got me! But, wait a second now, here's the deal; how would you like to take
over from Phil here?
Jason: Are you serious?
Paul: Look, it's obvious you enjoy being here. And you'd fit in perfect, come on, what do you
say?
Jason: Oh, well it's a very unexpected offer...a very attractive offer. Maybe we could do
something finally about that free clinic idea we had at lunch.
Paul: Absolutely!
Jason: This is exactly the kind of work situation I've always dreamed of!
Paul: Ah Jason, fantastic!!
Jason: I can't do it.
Paul: Oh wait a second, I promise I'll never hug you again.
Jason: No, Paul I have a deal with Maggie. We have always believed that one of us should be
there for the kids at all times. It's her time for career opportunities, not mine!
Paul: Oh, come on, give me a break, Jase. I mean look, you can make a lot of money here,
and that's important for your family too. And besides, you're the man of the house, what you
say goes, right?