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Patient: All I'm saying is, that if my wife, the woman that I cherish, thinks getting a job is
more important than our marriage, let her die.
Jason: Mr. Lapepki, think for just a moment, isn't this woman the same person you married
ten years ago.
Patient: No, she's fat.
Jason: But does she not also have a right to her own professional fulfillment?
Patient: Wow, you're whipped!
Jason: Mr. Lapepki, let me share with you a personal anecdote, if I may; I was in a similar
situation about four years ago.
Patient: Ah, right, your wife was putting on the pounds too, huh?
Jason: No. No, but after fifteen years as a home-maker, she suddenly decided to resume her
career, I couldn't believe it! I mean, I certainly didn't want to give up everything I'd worked for
and come home! I mean, after all the patients that you deal with at a home practice, frankly
aren't always that inter... Ah, with the exception of you. So, I had a decision to make; what
came first, my career or my marriage... I came home. And quite frankly, Mr. Lapepki, I
couldn't be happier. Now, does that sound whipped, to you?
Patient: You can put it on pumpkin pie!
Jason: Alright, well that's our session for today. I'll be remodeling this office, so next week will
be at another address.
Patient: Oh, a real office, huh?
Jason: This is a real office Mr. Lapepki, I do real work here.
Patient: I didn't mean to insult you. I welcome the change. Psychiatrists with real offices are
so much more...interesting.
Maggie: Jason, I'm home!
Patient: She could whip me anytime.
Carol: Ben, my pancakes are cold.
Ben: So, sit on 'em.
Mike: Ben, what are these little black things in my pancakes?
Ben: The ones without legs are rasinettes.
Carol: You are never gonna cook breakfast again!
Ben: That's my plan.
Mike: Benny look, you are only seeing the downside of Dad going to work here. Now, there is
an upside too. OK, with Mom at work and Dad safely out of the way all week, when you get
home from school today...
Jason: You will behave exactly as if I was watching your every move.
Mike: Isn't that crazy, the man read my mind.
Jason: Yeah.
Maggie: I bought extra diapers, Chrissy isn't used to day care.
Jason: Where is that contract? I should have left five minutes ago. There's all that traffic and
then the toll, oh! Maggie, I'm gonna need exact change for the toll.
Mike: Allow me Dad. Ben, give the man a Buck.
Jason: Maggie, come on, you said you'd get me some extra diapers for Chrissy.
Maggie: I did, Jason. You're nervous.
Jason: Well, I'm not who's comfortable with change.
Ben: Then give me my quarters back.
Jason: You know everything I need is right here at home; I don't need to commute, and I
don't have any interruptions...
Ben: And you get to watch Operah. Everybody knows, Dad.
Maggie: And all these years I thought you were doing me a big favour by working at home.
Jason: Well, I'm not the kind of guy to bring it up, but I am! Oh finally!
Ben: Yep.
Frank: Hi, I'm err... I parked my truck out on the front lawn, I hope it's OK.
Jason: Hey, everybody, this is Frank, he's gonna be remodeling the office.
Frank: My beeper went off, I gotta call it in. I heard the stinking beeper, get off my back will
you. Oh, is any one of you named Maggie Malone?
Maggie: Yes.
Frank: Gail something or other, from Esquire magazine. Could you make it quick.
Maggie: I heard, your beeper went off. Gail, can I call you right back on my husbands line?
OK.
Jason: Frank, about my office...
Frank: Just a sec. Go ahead, talk, I can do two things at once. Is there anything you wanna
have done? Any certain ideas?
Jason: Well just a few random thoughts off the top of my head really.
Frank: I gotta let you go. Yeah, I got another one of those.
Ben: (In his head) Hey, wait a second! I'm gonna have the whole house to myself, every
afternoon for a whole week. It's a good thing I got a poker face.
Maggie: Believe me Gail, I would love to do the article but the keep me so busy in town...
Jason: Losing these bookshelves will open up a whole work space here and...
Maggie: Oh Jason, I'm on the phone with Esquire.
Jason: Honey, don't we subscribe to enough magazines already? Oh! Well we need some time
to check these plans.
Maggie: Gail, I have to try yet another phone. Be patient with me.
Jason: Sorry. So, what this office really needs is just a new face! You know, I'd like to have an
office that says "a professional psychiatrist works here!" A professional psychiatrist, call me
home!
Ben: Dad, I was just wondering, about what time are you gonna get home tonight.
Jason: I dunno, Ben, if I don't get outta here soon, I may not be home at all.
Ben: (In his head) This is better than I thought. What would Mike do in a situation like this?
Party! Party! Party!
Jason: I mean does this office say anything to you?
Frank: Not a peep.
Maggie: Sorry, I have no time to write anything. Bye. Can you believe I had to turn down
another terrific freelance assignment!
Jason: Can you believe, three thousand Dollars for textured walls!
Maggie: Sure, now that I'm being offered good articles to write, I'm too busy to take them!
Jason: And now that I bothered with medical school, I find out the big Bucks are in contracting!
Oh Chrissy, I'm sorry, Daddy wouldn't leave without ya!
Jason: Don't cry, baby. Bye bye baby!! Goo goo!
Kevin: You're a little early, the doctor’s not in yet.
Jason: Oh, yes he is.
Kevin: Sure he is.
Jason: Oh, I'm Jason Seaver, I'm gonna be in Dr. Bigman's office this...
Kevin: Right, we were expecting you. I'm Kevin Randall.
Jason: Hi. Oh, I was just putting my daughter in day care. So, what's your area of expertise?
Kevin: Filing, typing, steno.
Jason: Oh, you treat secretaries?
Kevin: I am a secretary. In fact, I'm yours.
Jason: Ah, a male secretary! That's kind of strangely...fascinating, as an idea, yes. Well,
err...I'll be in my office, which is where?
Paul: Jason Seaver, you son of a gun!
Jason: Hey Paul!
Paul: How long's it been?
Jason: About a week. You had dinner at my place, remember?
Paul: Oh, then why am I hugging you?
Jason: Well, I don't know, you always do that when you see me; it's starting to get on my
nerves.
Paul: Have you seen your office?
