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Mylene: Well, I figured we could go out. There's this great movie I've already seen at the drive
in.
Ben: If you've already seen it... Oh.
Mylene: So, what time are you gonna pick me up?
Ben: Err...pick you up? I can't pick you up, I don't have licence right now.
Mylene: Why?
Ben: Err...suspended...street racing. Stuff happens.
Mylene: Oh, you're so bad. Well, I have a car. I'll pick you up at your place. What's your
address?
Ben: Well there could be a little bit of a problem there...
Principle: I just want to apologise to you two young people...
Mylene: Mr. Dewitt, we were just...
Principle: No no no no no Mylene. As the principle, it's my fault. The engraved invitations to
class were late out the printer. So we've been relying on an annoying bell to let folks know
when our sessions begin. Mikopa! Mikopa!
Mylene: I'm sorry Mr. Dewitt...
Ben: Hey, he said it was his fault!
Principle: What's your name you little insect?
Ben: Ben...
Principle: Ben what?
Ben: Ben...
Mylene: Ben's new here sir.
Principle: Oh, well then, that changes everything doesn't it. In that case, get your little buns
into that class room right now, or I'm gonna have 'em flying from the school flagpole, capisce?
Alright Leonard, freeze! And drop that vice principle...gently Mister.
Mylene: Hey, what's your address?
Ben: Fifteen Robin Hood lane, why?
Mylene: How else am I gonna pick you up? See you at seven.
Ben: Wait!
Mylene: I can't, I gotta get to class...Health.
Ben: I live above the garage, so whatever you do, don't come to the front door! My dad's a
total lunatic!
Principle: Son. Forgive me for not being clear, earlier. Get in to class or die!!!
(Back to present)
Jason: Oh Ben, Ben, didn't you know things were getting out of hand? Didn't you know you
were getting in deeper?
Ben: I sure did. And it would have ended right there, if it hadn't been for Mike. Look Dad,
whatever I did, Mike was my bad influence.
Mike: What's wrong Ben? Did I ever tell you to go out with an eighteen year old woman?
Ben: Yes!
(Back to the story in the past)
Ben: Ride the comet!! Thanks a lot, Mike!
Mike: Well, what happened, did you get caught?
Ben: No. Because of you an eighteen year old woman is forcing me to go to the drive in with
her, in her car, to do God-knows what!
Mike: And this is bad?
Ben: Are you kidding? Both of her parents work, and she takes Health.
Mike: Benny, excuse me! What are you thinking, man? Come on, get a hold of yourself! Benny,
this is what we all live for!
Ben: It's bad for me. I gotta get out of town! How far would two hundred and eighty six
Dollars get me?
Mike: All the way to here! Hey, you have got almost three hundred Dollars, and an eighteen
year old girl who is coming over here to pick you up.... Benny, I don't even have that!
Ben: And I also have an oral report due tomorrow in twelfth grade history.
Mike: Forget about the history.
Ben: But, I did so well on the pop quiz. Mike, I'm thirteen. How old were you when you went
out with your first eighteen year old?
Mike: Well, I was only...errm...sixteen. Alright, but we're talking about a real ugly girl here,
right?
Ben: Na! She's cute. She looks just like that girl from Mr. Belvedere.
Mike: You sure she doesn't look like Mr. Belvedere?
Ben: No, I'm telling you, she’s' got legs that connect and lumps and everything man!
Mike: Benny..err...then what in the heck is she doing with a thirteen year old horn bowl, like
you?
Ben: Mike, it's all gonna fall apart! She's gonna find out I'm not eighteen and cool and
dangerous! And Mom and Dad are gonna find out I've been selling Carol's term papers! Mr.
Dewitt will find out I don't go to Dewey High! And I'm dead!!
Mike: Come on, Ben! Ben, let's just deal with these things, one at a time, OK? You don't have
to worry about Dewitt, I mean, you don't even go to that school! I mean what's he got an
extradition treaty with your Junior high?
Ben: Yeah but...
Mike: And as for Mom and Dad finding out about you selling Carol's papers... Well you're
probably right, you'll be dead within the week. But, I'm telling you, you're going on a date
with an eighteen year old Bennie! It'll take hours to wipe that smile off your face!
Ben: You think so?
Mike: Oh Benny, I know so. Take it form me, go on the date! Watch! Look! Listen! Grow!
Ben: Not only did Mike talk me into the date, he even came up with a plan to get me out of
the house.
Maggie: Ben, you're not eating.
Carol: Quick, somebody call 911!
Mike: Hey guys, do you mind if I watch TV down here, I just set of a bug bomb in my
apartment?
Carol: Well, why didn't you just ask your friends to leave? Boy, I'm hot tonight!
Mike: Yeah, that was a good one Carol!
Carol: Pardon me?
Mike: It was a good joke. I mean it's good to see you starting to develop a sense of humour.
Carol: Well, gee, thanks.
Mike: Which explains that outfit you're wearing.
Mike: Nobody move! I got it! Ben, telephone for you!
Ben: Hello. Hello. There's nobody on the phone.
Mike: Well, maybe if you tell stinky to speak up, Ben.
Ben: Oh yeah. Stinky, speak up. I can hear him now. Let me ask. Stinky wants to know if it's
OK if I stay over at his house tonight.
Jason: Ben, you have homework tonight, don't you?
Ben: Yeah, but I did so well in my pop quiz today.
Maggie: Honey, he does beat the heck out of Stinky sleeping over here.
Jason: Oh, yeah, enjoy it Ben.
Ben: Right.
Maggie: Honey, you didn't tell him, yes or no.
Ben: He knows I'll be there. I'm gonna go get my stuff. They bought it.
Mike: Great.
Ben: Just one question- what if Mylene does invite me to sleep over at her house tonight?
Mike: Benny, you're not sleeping over at Mylene's house, OK? I mean, after you get back from
the drive in, you're gonna go stay up at my place!
Ben: But didn't you just set off a bug bomb up there? OK, stupid question.
Mike: OK, now look. You go up in my room, wait for your woman, and I'm gonna go, and I
know where Dad keeps the good cologne.
Ben: Alright, Mike, whatever I don't spend of the two hundred and eighty six Dollars tonight,
is yours.
