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Being alone is not proof that we have been rejected by the world; it's a sign that we've taken a good look at the available options and have - with wisdom - done some rejecting ourselves.
独自一人并不能证明我们已经被这个世界拒绝了；这是一个征兆，表明我们已经很好地分析了已有的选择，并且明智地拒绝了一些选择。
Another big thought is that we need to appreciate how long it will take to find someone, given how choosy we are (for very good reasons).
另一个重要的想法是，我们需要明白，因为挑剔（这是有非常充分的理由的），我们需要很长时间才能找到一个合适的伴侣。
We aren't just looking for anyone.
我们不是随便谁都可以。
The right candidate will be no less easy to find than a great job or a beautiful house.
找一个合适的伴侣并不比找一份好工作或一栋漂亮的房子更容易。
It might take many months, probably years.
这可能需要几个月，也可能是几年。
Expectations matter.
期望很重要。
If we regard a decade as a plausible time frame, then six months will skip by.
如果我们认为十年是一个合理的时间段，那么六个月很快就会过去。
There's is no better guarantee of a successful relationship than knowing that we could, and can, manage perfectly well on our own.
明白我们过去和现在都能够完全靠自己处理好人际关系，是一段关系能够成功的最重要的保证。
It means that we will only look for someone who can deeply contribute to our life, not someone who can do the laundry with us or keep us company on Sunday evenings.
这意味着我们只会寻找能对我们的生活留下深刻影响的人，而不是会在周日晚上和我们一起洗衣服或陪伴我们的人。
This gives us the strength to back out of unsatisfactory unions as quickly as we should.
这会给予我们力量，让我们尽快摆脱不合适的陪伴。
Being in a couple can't and shouldn't mean that we are utterly reliant on the other for our self-esteem, our daily self-management or for the meeting of our domestic needs.
成为伴侣不能，也不应该意味着我们要在自尊、日常的自我管理或满足家庭需求方面完全依赖于对方。
When we have under our belt a significant experience of thriving on our own, we will be able to cope with the inevitable points at which even a very nice partner can't sustain us; we'll be less demanding; more competent and more forensic in what we seek from a lover.
当我们经历了重要的时刻，明白如何独自茁壮成长，我们就会有能力应对不可避免会出现的，即使是最佳伴侣也无法帮助我们的时刻；我们将不再那么苛刻，从爱人那里寻求的东西也会更合理、更科学。
It turns out that our willingness to stay on our own is what centrally predicts how likely we'll be to find and bring to fruition a relationship with someone else.
事实证明，我们单身的意愿大小是未来是否能找到伴侣并与其建立关系的主要因素。
Being at ease with being single is the needed, secure platform from which to make a sane and wise choice about who to create a joint life with.
安心地面对单身是一个必要且安全的平台，在这个平台上，你可以做出理智而明智的选择，决定与谁一起共同生活。
