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Number One, the other person only focuses on themselves.
第一，对方只关注自己。
If someone in your life only thinks about themselves and doesn’t consider you and your feelings, then you might be struggling with emotional neglect.
如果生活中有人只考虑他们自己，而不考虑你和你的感受，那么你可能正在与情感忽视作斗争。
Does this person listen to you when you talk with them? Do they share in your accomplishments and celebrate with you? Are they there for you when you feel down or are struggling?
当你和他说话的时候，他听你说话吗? 他们是否愿意与你共享你的成就，与你一起庆祝? 当你感到沮丧或挣扎时，他们在你身边吗?
If you feel like they routinely ignore you and your needs, but then beg you for your attention, then that is a problem.
如果你觉得他们经常忽略你以及你的需求，但又乞求你的关注，那就有问题了。
If their life and their needs are the center of attention, then they are someone who focuses on themselves over most everyone else.
如果他们的生活和需求是关注的中心，那么他们就是那种关注自己而不是他人的人。
It seems like they’re the center of their own world, and you can feel like a simple sideshow.
他们似乎是自己世界的中心，你会觉得自己只是一个简单的陪衬。
Please know that no one has any right to make you feel this way. You are important and valid, too.
请知道，任何人都没有权利让你有这种感觉。你也很重要，很有价值。
Who you are, what you feel, and what you have to say are all worth talking about.
你是谁，你的感受以及你要说什么，都是值得谈论的。
Number Two, the relationship lacks affection.
第二，这种关系缺乏感情。
Does your relationship with this person lack a certain amount of affection?
你和这个人的关系缺乏一定程度的感情吗?
Do they invite you into a comforting gesture, like a long hug from a family member? Or holding your hand as their partner?
他们会给你一个安慰的手势吗，比如家人给你一个长时间的拥抱吗? 或者作为他们的伴侣握着你的手吗?
If this person feels cold and distant, and they are literally giving you the cold shoulder, this could be a sign of emotional neglect.
如果这个人令你感到冷漠和疏远，他们真的在冷落你，这可能是情感忽视的迹象。
Comforting gestures and physical affection are what help bond you to someone.
安慰的手势和身体上的爱是把你和别人联系在一起的东西。
It’s a physical way to connect with someone, and if that part is missing in your interactions with this person, then your relationship with them can suffer.
这是和某人联系的一种物理方式，如果在你和这个人的交往中缺失了这一部分，那么你们的关系就会遭殃。
Number Three, the relationship lacks communication.
第三，这段关系缺乏交流。
Does this person shut you down when you try to talk to them?
当你试图和这个人谈话时，他会拒绝你吗?
Do they give you the silent treatment?
他们会对你保持沉默吗?
They might shut down, ignore you, or even leave the room when you try to discuss any issues with them. Or conversations can be really one-sided and are spaced out.
当你试图与他们讨论任何问题时，他们可能会闭口不谈，忽略你，甚至离开房间。 或者，谈话可能是一边倒的，间隔很长。
Talks with them can feel far and in-between. And they don’t really work towards a resolution if there is a problem between the two of you.
与他们交谈可能会让人觉得遥不可及。如果你们之间有问题，他们也不会真正努力去解决。
When they’re angry with you, they don’t express themselves or tell you why they’re upset with you.
当他们对你生气时，他们不会表达自己，也不会告诉你他们为什么对你生气。
This person would rather just give you the silent treatment and let you suffer in that silence, wondering exactly what it is that’s upset them.
这个人用沉默对待你，让你在沉默中受苦，你想知道到底是什么让他们心烦。
This behavior is toxic and manipulative and does lend itself to emotional neglect.
这种行为是有害的，是操纵性的，确实会导致情感忽视。
After all, how can you connect with and be fulfilled by someone who rarely reciprocates?
毕竟，你怎么能与一个很少回应你的人建立联系并得到满足呢?
Number Four, you feel resentment towards them.
第四，你对他们感到怨恨。
Are you feeling resentment towards your partner? A family member? A close friend?
你对你的伴侣? 或一个家庭成员? 或一个亲密的朋友感到怨恨吗?
Is this resentment new or has it been building for a long time?
这种怨恨是新的还是已经形成了很长时间了?
If you recognize that there is a feeling of resentment towards someone in your life, emotional neglect could be the reason why.
如果你意识到生活中对某人有一种怨恨的感觉，情感上的忽视可能是其原因。
This kind of resentment should be addressed, if applicable.
如果可以的话，这种怨恨应该得到解决。
Keeping those negative feelings to yourself can really hurt you in the long run.
从长远来看，把这些消极情绪藏在心里真的会伤害到你。
You might need more support or validation from this person who hasn’t been giving it to you properly.
你可能需要从这个没有正确给予你支持和肯定的人那里得到更多的支持和肯定。
Maybe you want more positive, vocal support from your partner? Or maybe you want your mom or your dad to talk with you more openly and honestly?
也许你想从你的伴侣那里得到更多积极的支持? 或者你想让你的妈妈或爸爸和你更坦率、更诚实地交谈?
Either way, you most likely have resentment because of an emotional need that was neglected.
无论哪种方式，你都很可能因为忽视了一种情感需求而产生怨恨。
How do you think you can absolve your resentment with your loved ones?
你认为你怎样才能消除对你所爱的人的怨恨?
Number Five, you choose to confide in others before you talk to them.
第五，你选择在和别人说话之前对他们吐露心声。
Do you hesitate to tell this person good news or even bad news?
告诉这个人好消息或坏消息时，你会犹豫吗?
Do you go to someone, or anyone else, before you choose to tell that particular person?
在你决定告诉那个人之前，你会先去找某个人或其他人吗?
You might be acting this way because you have an emotional need that isn’t being met.
你这样做可能是因为你的情感需求没有得到满足。
You’ve realized that this person isn’t going to give you the support or reaction you need, so you seek out that reaction from other people first.
你已经意识到这个人不会给你需要的支持或回应，所以你先从其他人那里寻求这种回应。
It’s a way to seek external validation outside of your relationship with that particular person who is not giving you what you need emotionally.
这是一种方式，这种方式是从那个没有给你情感需要的人的关系之外寻求外部认可。
Number Six, there is no fighting.
第六，没有争吵。
Fights and disagreements are a part of life and you aren’t going to get along with everybody.
争吵和分歧是生活的一部分，你不可能和每个人都和睦相处。
There might be some friction in your relationship, but have the two of you talked about it? Or even argued about it?
你们之间可能会有摩擦，但你们俩谈过吗? 甚至是争辩过吗?
When you fight with someone, it requires a willingness to challenge each other.
当你和某人争吵时，需要有挑战对方的意愿。
It highlights the ability to tolerate anger, whether it’s your anger or their anger, and requires some element of emotional connection.
它强调了容忍愤怒的能力，无论是你的愤怒还是他们的愤怒，都需要一些情感联系的元素。
Emotional connection is the opposite of emotional neglect.
情感联系是情感忽视的反面。
If that willingness to argue, and offer up emotional connection isn’t there then you could be suffering from emotional neglect.
如果你不愿意争论，不愿意提供情感联系，那么你可能正在遭受情感忽视。
You might be feeling really hurt over how your emotional needs aren’t being met.
你可能会因为你的情感需求没有得到满足而感到很受伤。
You might need to talk about hidden issues or get angry and upset with this person.
你可能需要谈谈隐藏的问题，或者对这个人感到生气和沮丧。
And that’s okay. You and your feelings are still valid even if you’re upset.
这是好的。即使你心烦意乱，你和你的感觉仍然有效。
Getting it off your chest is better than keeping all that resentment locked inside.
把怨气说出来总比把怨气憋在心里好。
Number Seven, you feel lonely.
第七，你感到孤独。
Did you know that loneliness is one of the biggest signs of emotional neglect?
你知道孤独是情感忽视的最大迹象之一吗?
There is no worse feeling than the kind of loneliness that is experienced while you’re in a relationship with someone, be that a family member, close friend, or a romantic partner.
没有什么比你和某人在一段关系中所经历的孤独更糟糕的感觉了，无论是家人、亲密的朋友还是浪漫的伴侣。
You can be sitting right next to them, and still feel so alone, and that is a terrible thing.
你可能就坐在他们身边，却仍然感到如此孤独，这是一件可怕的事情。
This person can seem so great too![qh]
这个人看起来也很好!
They might have a good sense of humor, or share a lot of your common interests, or they have a kind nature, but you can still feel alone.
他们可能幽默感很好，或者和你有很多共同的兴趣，或者他们有一个善良的天性，但你仍然会感到孤独。
Your relationship lacks emotional substance and connection.
你们的关系缺乏实质情感和联系。
Emotional connection is the foundation of a relationship.
情感联系是一段关系的基础。
When the connection is weak, you can start to feel empty inside.
当联系变得薄弱时，你会开始感到内心空虚。
Do you think you could be struggling with emotional neglect?
你觉得你可能在与情感忽视做斗争吗?
What other emotional needs do you think aren’t being met in your life?
你认为在你的生活中还有哪些情感需求没有得到满足?
Have any tips for us? Let us know in the comments below!
有其他什么建议吗? 请在下面的评论中告诉我们!
Please like and share this video if it helped you and you think it can help someone else, too!
如果这个视频对你有帮助，并且你认为它也可以帮助其他人，请点赞并分享这个视频!
The studies and references used are listed in the description below.
使用的研究和参考文献列在下面的说明中。
Don’t forget to hit the subscribe button for more Psych2Go videos.
不要忘记点击订阅观看更多Psych2Go视频。[qh]
Thank you for watching! We’ll see you next time!
感谢收看! 我们下次见!
