My father always had a saying: when a day starts like this, it's all uphill from here.

Uphill? No, it's all downhill from here.

But everybody wants to be up, nobody wants to be down. So it's all uphill from here.

But it's easier to go downhill, so your daddy didn't know what he was talking about.

You're on the no-fly list.

We are having this baby on Friday. How do you expect to get home?

Hey, you want to ride with us?

Crisis reverted, I am driving.

Let me talk to her. You have a hairdresser out west? I just got this killer pervert and he needs a major upkeep.

So that's what I am dealing with.

We're gonna be traveling for a few days, and it wouldn't hurt to get to know each other. What's your favorite color? What age did you lose your virginity? I was nine years old, great gal, great gal, she loved pimples.

We need to make a pit stop.

Closed five minutes ago, you guys have reservation to Chili's.

We have a reservation to Chili's?

This is actually smart, I mean, it gets busy once... you know...

I despisewho you areto sell you lower level.

Ok, I've heard that before and I am trying to work on it. I have never.

Hello, dear.

Where are you?

We'll be in Grand Canyon.

We'll be there in a minute.

Did you just say the Grand Canyon?

Don't panic! Don't panic!

I'm getting you home safe, okay?

I am gonna kiss you. Stop, Peter, I am driving. Oh, sick!

Why are your eyes so glassy? You've been barding?

No, I have glaucoma.

What about the dog? Does he have glaucoma? Because his eyes are glassy too.

Got a drainage strip coming up?

I've already had it.

Real hard!

There is nobody like me.

Another one.

Why do you have this?

Because that's my daddy.

Why are your father's ashes in a coffee can?

Because he's dead, Peter.

Daddy, you were like a father for me.

I could've sworn I read his DNA.

No not correct. ...

It's Grand Canyon, not the Hoover Dam.Why not the Hoover Dam? It was built by the pilgrims.

Also incorrect.

This coffee is horrible, tastes like cat litter.

What, this is delicious.

I thought I can use this coffee cuz you guys are broke.

Oh, boy!

The guy has remain in the can.

Oh God, so stupid.