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Nurse: For 2 months he's been lying here in a coma helpless. What are his chances doctor?
Doctor: Not good.
Nurse: We're still trying to locate his family.
Doctor: Seeing him like this it just makes me realize I love you Deanndra.
Director: And cut!! Craps!!
Mike: Artie! Artie! What'd you think?
Artie: I laughed, I cried, you're on at 5.
Mike: Thanks.
Kate: Hi!
Mike: Kate!!
Kate: You were wonderful!
Mike: Oh thank you, you know I'm really getting into this coma stuff and I think people are really starting to notice.
Mr. Checken: Nice coma today Seaver.
Mike: Thank you Mr. Checken, that means a lot coming from you.
Lennette: Castille Flackman, head writer, it is a pleasure.
Mike: I see your name on the credits every week. Wow!
Mr. Checken: Sweetheart you want to get me a cup of coffee and rip the top off a muffin.
Kate: Do I want to what!?
Mike: Excuse me, honey I think he wants to talk to me alone. Just this once.
Lennette: We've been so impressed with your performance, you are Straughn Waverly, the way you have explored textures and the internal harmonics.
Mr. Checken: Yeah Right! Ditto! I hope for your sake you can keep a secret.
Mike: Yeah Yeah, what's this?
Lennette: The episode America's been waiting for
Mike: Carol! Carol! I need you to watch me do my line and tell me what you think.
Carol: Mike! Leave me alone.
Mike: If I make enough money, I'll move out.
Carol: I'm all ears. Just make it fast.
Mike: Ok, let me give you some background. Now in 1974, Taylor Palmerance, the patriarch of Green Valley disinherited his 3 sons, Frisco, Corrigan, and Murray.
Carol: Do any of them know your line?
Mike: That's not my line, I'm getting prepared.
Carol: Mike!!
Mike: Cruz Bannister. Well!!??
Carol: Well what!?? You laid there and belched.
Mike: No no no, Carol that was the name of the murderer. But you're right I can do much better than that. Cruz Bannister!! Well?
Carol: They pay you for this!!?? A speck of protoplasm could do better.
Mike: Ok, you're right, you're right. What was I thinking? You're still on the respirator. Cruz Bannister.
Maria: Howdy stranger!?
Carol: Oh Shut up! Bran, let me appeal to you as a human being.
Bran: Cool.
Carol: You see I'm falling behind in my studies, I can't study at home because my brother keeps rehearsing his stupid soap opera line and I can't study here because like you're an insensitive boob, and my academic performance is suffering. I am suffering, and all I am asking from you is a little bit of human understanding.
Bran: Carol you have never mentioned this before, your brother is on a soap opera!?? Which one, who does he play!!??
Carol: I don't know, I don't care, he just lies there and breathes.
Bran: Ah!! My roommates brother is Straughn Waverly the third.
Students: Who's brother!??
Bran: Carol, my roommate.
Student: I didn't know you had a roommate!
Bran: Girls, Carol Seaver
Student: How do we really know that you brother is Straughn Waverly!??
Student: Yeah!!??
Carol: Well, If he weren't on the show, how would I know the name of the murder is Cruz Bannister.
Bran: Cruz Bannister!!?? The murder is Cruz Bannister!!?? That's it! AH.
Student: Carol do you think you can take us to see the show?
Carol: Hey, I'm his acting coach.
Students: Alright!!!
Luke: There, I almost got it.
Chrissy: Where did you learn so much about fixing dolls?
Luke: I was a surgeon at a doll hospital.
Chrissy: You were not!
Luke: Oh yeah!!?? When chatty Kathy lost her voice, who do you think got her talking again? When Betsy Wetsy dried up like the Sahara, who do you think opened up the flood gates? And when My Little Pony got the trots, who do you think got her back on track? Let's see well it's as good as new.
Chrissy: Thanks Luke, when I'm all grown up you better watch out!
Mike: Hey Luke! What are you doing dressed up in Ben's weeny suit?
Luke: I want to make a good impression on the Kimbell's.
Mike: So you are dressing like Ben? These people don't like you the way you are, then the heck with them. Go upstairs throw on some jeans.
Carol: Mike.
Kate: Whoa! This dressing room is huge.
Mike: Kate, look at this!!? My sofa, my waste paper basket, and look at this my chair with my name on it.
Kate. Mark Seaver??
Mike: Can't have everything haha. Glen!! You remember my girlfriend?
Glen: Can it! Bad news.
Lennete: Straughn Straughn, we've re-written your whole scene.
Mike: You're kidding!? Do I still wake up?
Lennette: Of course, but you don't say Cruz Bannister anymore, now you say Brook Sunderfield.
Mike: He's the murderer?
Lennette: She.
Mike: Wow! This is a curveball! Uhh..Brook Sunderfield…Is that ok?
Glen: Is this kid a trooper or what!!?? Blow it and I yank out you nose hair!
Mike: Uhh, why did you change the name of the murderer?
Lennette: Some serpent in our midst gave the name Cruz Bannister to the Columbia University paper.
Glen: The more I think about it, the more I would like to pop the weasel that did it.
Mike: Ohh, kids today.
Lennette: Straughn, better get into wardrobe, roll tape in five minutes.
Mike: Ok, right.
Glen: You need anything, you let me know.
Mike: Ok, I can't think of a thing.
Kate: Oh I can, this may seem petty but Ernie put mark on the chair.
Glen: Say no more, Ernie's history. He's fired!!
Mike: No no, just maybe change the name on the chair, don't fire anybody.
Glen: Well, ok...
Mike: Well??
Kate: Ill, sorry looking buns,
Mike: Hello? Straughn Waverly the third.
Luke: Yeah, hello is Mike Seaver there?
Mike: Yeah, Luke, it's me Mike. I was just getting into character, what's up?
Luke: Look you've been straight with me, felt I owed you a goodbye.
Mike: A goodbye, hey listen pal you're just moving across town.
Luke: I'm leaving town,.
Mike: Luke, where are you going!?
Luke: I'll spend the winter in Florida, don't worry I'll be fine.
Announcer: Sorry for the interruption, all buses will be boarding….
Mike: Luke don't do this!
Luke: I'll look you up someday.
Mike: Luke!
Kate: What's wrong!?
Mike: Kate, call the bus station, find out the next bus that leaves anywhere for Florida.
