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It's natural for most of us to spend time worrying about our reputation: what others think of us, whether we are deemed good or bad by the community.
对于我们大多数人来说，时常担心自己的声誉是很正常的：我们会担心别人怎样看待我们，无论这种想法是好是坏。
This can quickly become a painful topic, and our thoughts can descend into bonfires of worry: what if we are accused of something, what if we are ostracized and mocked, what about if we become a pariah?
这可能很快成为一种痛苦，我们的思想可能会陷入无穷的担忧：如果我们因为某事被指责怎么办，如果我们被排斥和嘲笑怎么办，如果我们被社会抛弃怎么办？
A useful way out of the panic was suggested many centuries ago by the Stoic thinkers of Ancient Greece and Rome.
许多个世纪前，古希腊和罗马的斯多葛学派思想家提出了一种摆脱恐慌的有效方法。
They suggested that we divide the topic of reputation into two parts.
他们建议我们把声誉这个话题分成两部分。
On the one hand, who we are and what we think of ourselves.
第一个部分是，我们是谁，我们是如何看待自己的。
And on the other, what other people may decide to declare or say about us.
另一个部分是，其他人可能会对我们有什么想法或评论。
The Stoics reminded us of an important detail.
斯多葛学派要我们明白一个重要的细节。
We can never be certain of the second part of the equation; we can't control the world beyond a certain point.
我们永远无法确认等式的第二部分；世界的很大一部分都不在我们的掌控之中。
There is always the possibility that someone vengeful, mean or disturbed is gonna say something about us and try to damage us.
总会有某些心存复仇的、刻薄的或心理不正常的人会说一些我们的闲言碎语，并试图伤害我们。
We can never be completely assured that they won't.
我们永远无法保证不会出现这样的人。
This could sound like alarming news, but the Stoics wished us to take it on board with courage and then gain strength from focusing on the first part of the equation: what we think of ourselves.
这可能听起来令人震惊，但斯多葛学派希望我们勇敢地接受这一点，然后专注于等式的第一部分——我们对自己的看法——来获得力量。
And here, things are far far brighter, because we are far more in control.
第一部分看起来要光明得多，因为我们掌握了更多的控制权。
We can calmly evaluate what we've done, what our hearts are like - and we can then come to a view of what sort of people we are, which provides us with a vital bulwark against the possible vagaries and tempests of public opinion.
我们可以冷静地评估我们做了什么，我们的心是什么样的——然后我们就能由此得知自己是什么样的人，这为我们提供了一个坚固的堡垒，抵御可能出现的不同看法和舆论风暴。
We have a solid anchor.
我们有一只坚固的锚。
We can know who we are.
我们可以理解自己是谁。
Modern psychotherapy would add an important detail to this analysis.
现代心理疗法为这种分析补充了一个重要的细节。
Our sense of self is the result of how other people viewed us in childhood, especially our parents or caregivers.
我们的自我意识是其他人，特别是我们的父母或照顾我们的人，在童年时对我们的看法的映射。
Some of us wander the world with an acute sense of shame and self-distrust that we absolutely don't deserve, and we project a lot of paranoia and fear onto other people - primarily because we have been treated with disdain in our early years.
我们中的一些人带着一种我们绝对不该拥有的强烈羞耻感和自卑游荡在世界上，把很多偏执和恐惧投射到其他人身上——原因主要是我们在早年受到的鄙视。
We are going to start to feel a lot more solid and immune from the ups and downs of gossip once we become conscious of how negatively biased we have been and settle in our minds what we think we are worth - irrespective of either what figures from our past said or what someone around us now might suddenly decide.
一旦我们意识到自己受到了非常消极的歧视，并在心中确定了自身的价值——无论过去我们身边的人说了什么，或者我们周围的人突然对我们有什么看法，我们会变得更加坚定，不再重视流言的变化。
The path to immunity from worry about reputation is going to lie in a far more secure and just handle on our own value.
消除对自身声誉的担忧需要我们更稳固、更公正地理解我们自身的价值。
