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Hey, Psych2goers.
嗨，Psych2go的观众们。
Do you have any relationships in your life that repeatedly leave you feeling emotionally drained and miserable?
在你的生活中，是否有一些关系让你感到情绪低落和痛苦？
These can be in the form of a romantic partner, friend, coworker, or a family member.
这些关系指浪漫的伴侣、朋友、同事或家庭成员。
Have you tried to share your feelings and being made to feel dejected or ashamed?
你是否尝试过分享你的感受，却被弄得垂头丧气或感到羞愧？
If so, you may be dealing with a toxic person.
如果是这样，你可能正在与一个“有毒”的人打交道。
In today's video, we'll be looking at seven intelligent ways to deal with toxic people.
在今天的视频中，我们将看到处理“有毒”人士的七种方法。
Number one, you established your physical and emotional boundaries.
第一，建立你的身体和情感界限。
Do you ever feel trapped in a conversation or left ruminating about a conversation you wish you hadn't been a part of? Psychotherapist Amy Morin advises that when dealing with toxic people, you need to set your physical and emotional boundaries.
你是否曾在谈话中感到受困，或希望自己没有参与到谈话中？心理治疗师艾米-莫林建议，在应对“有毒”的人时，你需要设定你的身体和情感界限。
For instance, this could be in the form of stepping back from a group of gossipers that make you feel uncomfortable.
例如，从一群让你感到不舒服的八卦者身边离开。
Understandably though, it's not always easy to physically retreat, such as in work settings with colleagues and bosses.
可以理解的是，身体上的退却并不总是容易的，例如在工作环境中与同事和老板的关系。
In instances like this, you can limit the emotional energy and time you spend thinking about them, and try not to give much thought to them afterwards.
在这样的情况下，你可以限制花在思考他们身上的情感能量和时间，并尽量不在事后对他们进行过多的思考。
Number two, you avoid playing into their reality.
第二，你要避免玩弄他们的现实。
Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or coworker makes a mistake but blames it on you or someone else rather than taking responsibility for their actions?
你是否曾经遇到过这样的情况：朋友或同事犯了错误，却把它归咎于你或其他人，而不是为自己的行为负责？
Whilst standing up and disagreeing can feel daunting, this can be done in a respectful way.
虽然站起来提出异议会让人感到畏惧，但这可以以一种尊重的方式进行。
In fact, it's actually healthy to agree to disagree.
事实上，同意不同的意见实际上是良性的。
According to Brito and Raypole, 2019, a way to confront people without being confrontational or accusatory is taking them to decide and saying, "I had a different take on the situation."
根据Brito和Raypole，2019年，在不对抗或指责的情况下，与人对抗的方法是让他们决定，并说："我对情况有不同的看法。"
Whilst they may be upset with your disagreement, they will recognize that you have a voice of your own and you're not afraid to use it.
虽然他们可能对你的不同意见感到不满，但他们会认识到，你有自己的声音，而且敢于发言。
Number three, you don't share secrets with the gossipers.
第三，你不与说闲话的人分享秘密。
Have you ever come across a group of people who constantly talk about others for enjoyment and entertainment sake?
你有没有遇到过这样一群人，他们为了享受和娱乐而不断地谈论别人？
According to psychiatrist, Ned Howell, gossip can be defined as sharing information, real or imagined, without permission.
根据精神病学家内德-豪威尔的说法，八卦可以被定义为未经许可分享信息，无论是真实的还是想象的。
Gossipers tend to delight in other people's pain, and gossip about anyone and everyone they can.
流言蜚语者倾向于以他人的痛苦为乐，并对他们能做到的任何人和每个人进行流言蜚语。
Chances are, if someone shares other people's secrets with you, they're untrustworthy and we'll share your secrets to if given the chance.
如果有人与你分享其他人的秘密，他们是不值得信任的，如果有机会，他们也会分享你的秘密。
Because of this, the best thing to do in most instances is to not share secrets with gossipers.
正因为如此，在大多数情况下，最好的做法是不与说闲话的人分享秘密。
Number four, you focus on solutions not problem.
第四，你专注于解决方案而不是问题。
With many toxic people, their focus tends to be on problems rather than solutions, and they always have something to complain about, which can be very emotionally draining for people around them.
对于许多“有毒”的人，他们的重点往往是问题而不是解决方案，他们总是有一些抱怨，这对他们周围的人来说可能是非常耗费感情的。
On the other hand, a way of dealing with this behavior is by focusing your energy on solutions instead of problems.
另一方面，处理这种行为的方法是将你的精力集中在解决方案而不是问题上。
If you have someone in your life who creates problem after problem and continuously expects you to help them fix things, it might be worth reconsidering your relationship with them, and preventing yourself from being sucked into their drama.
如果你的生活中有人制造了一个又一个的问题，并不断期望你帮助他们解决问题，也许值得重新考虑你与他们的关系，并防止自己被吸进他们的戏剧。
Number five, you spend time with loyal friends.
第五，你花时间与忠诚的朋友相处。
Do you have any friends in your life that you know you can always count on?
你的生活中是否有任何朋友，你知道你总是可以依靠的？
A really good friend should have your back, help you feel good about yourself and celebrate your success with you.
一个真正的好朋友应该支持你，帮助你自我感觉良好，和你一起庆祝成功。
It can be hard to come across such people, so when you do hold them close and show up for them the way they show up for you.
遇到这样的人可能很困难，所以当你遇到时，要紧紧抓住他们，以他们为你服务的方式为他们服务。
Rather than focusing your time and energy on toxic people, surround yourself as much as possible with loyal and loving friends.
与其把你的时间和精力集中在有毒的人身上，不如尽可能地把自己包围在忠诚和爱的朋友中。
Number six, you recognize the insults, ignore them or toss up a joke.
第六，你认识到侮辱，不理会他们或抛出一个笑话。
Understandably insults hurt and they're unpleasant, and can feel like a personal dig.
可以理解的是，侮辱会伤害人，而且令人不快，会让人觉得是对自己的挖苦。
It's important to remember though, that toxic people are often hurtful to everyone and it's much more reflective of them than it is on you.
但重要的是要记住，有毒的人经常伤害每个人，这对他们的影响比对你的影响要大。
It can be really difficult, but not taking harsh words to heart can be one of the best ways of dealing with toxic people.
这可能真的很困难，但不把刺耳的话放在心上可能是处理有毒的人的最好方法之一。
Because most of the time they're just wanting to stir the pot and cause drama.
因为大多数时候，他们只是想搅和一下，造成混乱。
In some instances, tossing up a joke can help lighten the situation and diffuse the tension.
在某些情况下，抛出一个笑话可以帮助缓和局势，化解紧张。
So next time someone tries to get an angry reaction from you, how about ignoring them or throwing a joke back.
因此，下一次有人试图从你那里得到愤怒的反应时，不妨忽略他们或开个玩笑。
And number seven, you change your routine.
第七，你要改变自己的惯例。
Do you find yourself stuck in a rut of not being able to succeed because of certain people?
你是否发现自己因为某些人而陷入了无法成功的困境？
For example, maybe you have family members who create a hostile environment when you're trying to study for an exam.
例如，也许你的家庭成员在你试图为考试复习时创造了一个与之对抗的环境。
If this is something you relate to, changing your routine may be a way of dealing with this.
如果这与你有关，改变你的生活习惯可能是处理这个问题的一种方式。
Ideally, your family in this example would be respectful of your boundaries, but in the instances where they're not, waking up earlier or going to the library might help you help yourself.
理想情况下，这个例子中你的家人会尊重你的界限，但在他们不尊重你的情况下，早些起床或去图书馆可能有助于你帮助自己。
So there we have it, seven intelligent ways to deal with toxic people.
所以，这就是处理“有毒”的人的七种聪明方法。
Did you find any of these tips helpful?
你觉得这些小贴士有什么帮助吗？
If so, please let us know in the comment section below.
如果有，请在下面的评论区告诉我们。
As always, thank you so much for watching.
非常感谢您的观看。
If you enjoyed the video, please like, subscribe to Psych2Go if you haven't already, and feel free to share with anyone you know who might also enjoy the video.
如果你喜欢这个视频，请点赞，如果你还没有订阅Psych2Go，请与你认识的可能喜欢这个视频的人分享。
And we'll see you next time.
我们下个视频见。
