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Hey, buddies. Guess who didn't get security clearance to work on the giant space laser?
伙计们 猜猜谁由于没通过安全审查所以不能参与太空激光器的工作了
What happened? Apparently, the background interviews didn't go well. You guys wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
怎么搞的 显然 有人在背景调查时说我坏话了呗 这肯定跟你们几个没关系 对吧
Well, actually, I may have gotten a little tipsy when I talked to her. And I may have hit on her a little bit. I may have thrown up rum cake on her shoes.
实际上 我跟那个女探员谈话的时候可能有点喝醉了 我可能有点想要泡她的意思 我可能把朗姆蛋糕扔到她鞋上了
I see. Well, it's good to know, when I need you guys, I can always count on you to step up and ruin everything.
我知道了 很好 每当我需要你们的时候 我总能指望你们跳出来把事情搞砸的
I feel awful.
我好内疚
Ah, me, too.
我也是
To tell you the truth, I thought if anyone was going to screw things up for Howard, it'd be Sheldon.
老实说 就算有人会搞砸 霍华德的安全审核我也觉得应该是谢尔顿的错
Well, your expectations have been subverted. Aha.
显然你的预期被推翻了 啊哈
What are you doing up?
你怎么还不睡
Sleep eludes me, Leonard.
睡眠弃我而去了 莱纳德
Really? Maybe sleep has met you before.
是么 可能你之前遇见过他却错过了
Mockery? That's all you have to offer?
这算是讽刺么 你就不能说些别的吗
I'm sorry. Why can't you sleep?
不好意思 你为什么睡不着
Who knows? I haven't watched any scary movies recently. I'm no longer obsessing over why the predicted mass of the quantum vacuum has little effect on the expansion of the universe.And it's been weeks since I took that accidental sip of Red Bull.
谁知道呢 我最近又没看什么惊悚片 也不再纠结为什么量子真空质量的预测对宇宙膨胀作用甚微 我不小心喝了一小口红牛也是好几周前的事了
Did something happen today that's bothering you?
那今天发生了什么事让你纠结
Well, I did mention the Mars Rover incident to that FBI agent and probably cost Howard his security clearance.
我的确是对联调局探员提到了火星探测器那件事 也许这害得霍华德没通过安全审核
What?
啥
But why should that keep me up?
但我为什么睡不着呢
Because you feel guilty?
因为你感到愧疚么
Interesting. So you're saying my insomnia is caused by a guilty conscience.
有意思 你是说我失眠是因为愧疚感作祟
Actually, you don't have insomnia. You're sleeping now.
其实你没有失眠 你正在睡觉
Excuse me? You're having a guilt-ridden dream.
你说啥 你正在一个因内疚感而生的梦境里
Do you have any evidence to support that hypothesis?
你这么说有什么证据吗
How about that Gorn sitting on the couch?
看到沙发上那个戈恩人了吗（星际迷航）
That seems fairly conclusive.
好吧 很有说服力
No, Gorn, no. That's where I sit.
不 戈恩 那是我的位子
Thank you for agreeing to see me, Agent Page.
多谢你同意见我 蓓姬探员
Thank you for filing a complaint with my superior, Dr. Cooper.
多谢你向我上级投诉我 库珀博士
I understand you want to recant your statement about Howard Wolowitz.
我明白你想要撤销你对霍华德·沃罗威茨的说辞
Yes. Was your statement untrue?
没错 你的说辞是假的吗
No.
是真的
Then I'm afraid you can't withdraw it.
那我恐怕你没法撤销
I'm sorry. I don't recall you saying "No backsies."
不好意思 你可没说"不得回传"
Is there anything else?
还有其它事吗
Yes. I'd like to offer a laudatory statement about Howard's many excellent qualities that I believe will tip the scales back in his favor. Howard Joel Wolowitz. H is for honesty, of which he has much. O's for outstanding, Which he is such. W's for witty, he's quick with a joke. A's for artistic, his ability..."
有 我想发表一番对霍华德 许多优秀品质的赞美 我相信这能扭转局势 霍华德·约尔·沃罗威茨 H代表诚实 他的确相当诚实 O代表杰出 他也正是如此 W代表风趣 他的确很会讲笑话 A代表艺术才华 他可以...
I'm sorry. Dr. Cooper, this matter is already closed.
我很抱歉 库珀博士 这没得谈了
But I still have "rd Joel Wolowitz" Left to go.
但名字的剩余部分我还没说完呢
It's closed.
这事儿已经完结了
I don't understand why you people are picking on my friend, Howard, when there are much more serious security threats to pursue. For instance, when I first met Leonard, he was on the verge of giving away rocket secrets to a North Korean spy, and not one agent ever investigated that.
我真搞不懂你们这帮人要找我朋友霍华德的茬 这个国家还面临着其它更严重的威胁 比如 我最初遇到莱纳德的时候 他就差点把导弹机密透露给一个朝鲜间谍 但却没有一个探员去调查这事
This is Leonard Hofstadter?
你是指莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德吗
No, it's a different Leonard. He's...Chinese, red hair, six fingers. Good-bye.
不 是另一个叫莱纳德的 他...他是中国人 红头发 六根手指 再见
Raj. Have you seen Howard?
拉杰 你看到霍华德了吗
I think he's eating lunch.
我想他在吃饭吧
Uh, Sheldon, I want you to meet Neil DeGrasse Tyson from the Hayden Planetarium in New York.
谢尔顿 这位是尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森 纽约海登天文馆馆长
I'm quite familiar with Dr. Tyson. He's responsible for the demotion of Pluto from planetary status. I liked Pluto. Ergo I do not like you.
我和泰森博士挺熟呢 都归功于他的一家之言 冥王星不再是行星了 我喜欢冥王星 所以我不喜欢你
But I actually didn't demote Pluto. That was a vote of the International Astronomical Union.
其实不是我的一家之言 而是国际天文联合会投票决定的
If "Ifs" And "Buts" Were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.
要是总拿"如果"和"但是"来糊弄我们 圣诞节可不会开心的是吧
Think about that, Dr. Tyson.
好好想想吧 泰森博士
Is that the guy you were telling me about? Oh, yeah.
你和我说的就是他吗 没错
Howard. The person at fault for you not getting a security clearance is me.
霍华德 害你没通过安全审核的人是我
You?
是你
Yes, but before you get upset, I want you to know I went to the FBI and retracted my statement.
对 在你发飙之前 我要告诉你 我去找了联调局的人撤回我的说辞
And they were okay with that?
他们同意了吗
No. If anything, I made it worse. In any case, I have been riddled with guilt, which is causing Gorn-infested REM sleep. So, I'm here now to say I'm sorry.
不 那啥 反而更糟了 不管怎样 我充满了罪恶感 搞得戈恩人都跑进了我梦里 所以我来对你说抱歉
Are you kidding me? You've set my career back at least two years, and you think you can make it right with "I'm sorry"?
你开什么玩笑 你害得我的职业发展倒退了至少两年 你觉得说句抱歉就能算了吗
Yes. I followed the social protocol. I attempted to right the wrong, and when I failed to do so, I delivered a heartfelt apology. Now you say, "Apology accepted," and I will offer you a one-time-only high five.
是的 我遵循了社交礼仪 曾努力想要纠正错误 但我失败了 所以我表示诚挚的抱歉 现在你得说 “我接受你的道歉” 而我和你击下掌 仅此一次
Your apology is not accepted.
我不接受你的道歉
You're tricking me. It really is, isn't it?
你开玩笑吧 其实你接受了吧
Leave me alone, Sheldon.
别烦我 谢尔顿
Dr. Cooper, I just wanted you to know I'm sorry for the role I played in the Pluto matter.
库珀博士 我想告诉你 我很抱歉我对冥王星的所作所为
Oh, shut up.
闭嘴 谢尔顿
Sheldon? Hello. What are you doing here?
你好 你怎么会在这
I have troubles, Penny.
我有麻烦了 佩妮
I've come to pour them out to the sympathetic ear of the local barkeep.
我想来找充满同情心的当地酒吧酒保一吐心事
You know, they have a really nice bar over at the Olive Garden.
其实橄榄园那边就有个不错的酒吧
I don't like the Olive Garden. They treat me like family.
我不喜欢橄榄园 他们对我跟家人似的
Okay, Sheldon. What can I get you?
好吧谢尔顿 想喝点什么
Alcohol.
酒
Could you be a little more specific?
能再具体点吗
Ethyl alcohol. 40 milliliters.
乙醇 40毫升
I'm sorry, honey. I don't know milliliters.
抱歉亲爱的 我不懂毫升制
Ah. Blame President James "Jimmy" Carter. He started America on a path to the metric system but then just gave up.He wonders why he was a one-term president.
那得怪詹姆斯·吉米·卡特总统 他让美国开始实行公制体系却又半途而废 他还想不明白自己为何不能连任总统
Would you say that's about 40 milliliters?
你说这里差不多是40毫升吧
More or less. Great. Now, where were we?
差不多 很好 咱说到哪了
I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail.
相信你马上就要让我点一种鸡尾酒了
Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, there's an app for that.
幸好 拜嗜酒的电脑通们所赐 正好有开发这应用
Let's see. Harvey Wallbanger. Eh. Sex on the Beach. I hardly think so.
看看 哈维撞墙 算了 海滩性爱 我可不要
Rob Roy, silk Slipper, Mad Hatter. I'll have a Rosewater Ricky.
罗布罗伊 丝绸拖鞋 疯狂鞋匠 给我来一杯玫瑰花水里奇
A what? You'll need pitted,brandied cherries, gin, rosewater, Angostura Bitters and overproofed rum.
什么酒 需用到去核酒酿的樱桃 琴酒 玫瑰花水 安古斯图拉苦味酒和高度朗姆酒
Now, first, dust the cherries with sugar, then spray them with a mixture of rum and bitters. Then ignite the rum, caramel...
首先 在樱桃上撒上糖 然后喷上朗姆和苦味酒 再点燃朗姆酒 将饴糖...
Here you go—one Rosewater Ricky.
给你 你的玫瑰花水里奇
That's not how it looks in the picture.
跟照片上的不像
Oh, yeah, you know, every bartender makes it differently. Why don't you give it a try.
是啊 不过每位酒保调法都稍有差异 何不试试再说
All right. To the metric system. I can't taste the cherries.
好吧 敬公制体系 我没尝到有樱桃味
All right. Sheldon, what's on your mind?
好吧 谢尔顿 你到底在烦恼什么
I wronged Howard, and he won't accept my apology.
我对不起霍华德 他不接受我的道歉
Oh, right, that. Yes, Leonard told me. Sorry, honey.
哦那件事啊 莱纳德跟我说了 很遗憾亲爱的
Penny, you face failure on a daily basis. How do you cope?
佩妮 你每天都面对着失败 你是怎么处理的
I drink. To drinking.
我喝酒啊 敬喝酒
Nope. If only there were some way to force Howard to accept my apology so I could escape this miasma of guilt.
不行 真希望有什么能强迫霍华德接受我的道歉 让我逃脱这内疚的深渊
You know, sometimes stuff just happens, and there's nothing you can do about it.
有些事它注定要发生 你是无能为力的
For example, Lisa Peterson hasn't talked to me since the 11th grade, because no matter how much you apologize, you can't go back and un-dry-hump someone's boyfriend.
比如 丽莎·皮特森从高二就不跟我讲话 因为不管怎么道歉 都改变不了勾走她男友的事实
I see. You're saying I'm facing Starfleet Academy's unwinnable command scenario: the Kobayashi Maru.
我明白了 你是说我面对的是星舰学院不可能完成的测试——小林丸号测验
Exactly. Sometimes you can't win.
没错 有时候注定你赢不了
Captain Kirk won.
柯克船长就赢了
Kirk cheated.
柯克作弊了
It's hard to believe i'm actually having this conversation with you.
真不敢相信你知道这个 难以置信我竟然跟你在讨论这些
Right there with you.
佩妮与你同在
Kirk beat the Kobayashi Maru by reprogramming the simulator. That's it.
柯克通过改编测试程序通过了该测试 就这么办
What? I'll reprogram Howard.
什么 我要改编霍华德
What...?
什么
Sheldon, you can't reprogram people.
谢尔顿 人是没法改编的
No, you can't reprogram people. To James Tiberius Kirk.
不 是你不能改编而已 敬詹姆斯·T·柯克船长
Hello, all. Howard, you're feeling better about me today, aren't you?
各位好 霍华德 今天没那么生我气了 是吗
Not really.
不是
Yes, you are. I'm using neurolinguistic programming to modify your thought patterns.
一定是的 我正用神经语言学规划法修正你的思考模式
Go away, Sheldon. There's a $9.95 e-book down the drain.
滚远点 谢尔顿 将近10美元买的那电子书就这么废掉了
What's in the bag?
那袋子里是什么
It's for Howard.
是给霍华德的
Oh. Sheldon, you can't fix this with gifts.
谢尔顿 这事不是送个礼就能算了的
Nevertheless, I've hurt you, and whether you forgive me or not, I want you to have this.
不管怎么说 我伤害了你 不管你原不原谅我 我都要给你这个
You're giving me a couch cushion?
你送我个沙发垫
No. The cushion is merely symbolic. I'm giving you my spot on the couch.
不是 垫子只是象征性的 我送你的是我沙发上的专座
But you love that spot.
但你很爱那专座的
No. I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe. And now it's yours.
不 我很爱我妈妈 而我对我专座的感情要强烈得多 它是宇宙中独一无二属于我的 环绕着它是属于我的整个宇宙 现在它是你的了
Oh, my God, dude. Now you have to forgive him.
天哪兄弟 你一定要原谅他
All right. Apology accepted.
好吧 我接受你的道歉
High five. Not too hard. Thank you.
击掌 别太用力 谢谢
I haven't cried like this since Toy Story 3.
自《玩具总动员3》之后 我就没这么哭过了
I got to tell you, Sheldon, I understand why you chose this spot. I mean, the temperature is good, but there's no draft. I can see the television, but I can still talk to...
不得不承认 谢尔顿 我总算明白你为何选这个专座了 温度正好 也没什么风 能观赏电视 同时还能聊天...
I changed my mind. Get out of my spot.
我改主意了 滚出我的专座
How long?
多久
94 seconds.
94秒
