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个人陈述批改:请求国外教授发邀请信

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原文:

Dear Professor Jin:

I am writing to you about the possibility of studying and researching in your lab as a visiting scholar. The China Scholarship Council(CSC) has approved my request to study abroad. They will provide me with 1200 dollars per month along with a round-trip ticket as financial support for half an year. I plan to go to the U.S. this year in October or November.

Your researches are of particular interest to me, especially in sustainable supply chain theory, Your group's research is so outstanding that I believe that if given the opportunity to study and research under your guidance, the experience at your lab can improve my research capacity, learn technology that is more new, and enlarge my knowledge in this field, which will benefit me a lot in the future study and job.

I graduated from Anhui University of Science and Technology and got my bachelor degree. I am a graduate student of professor Liang at Nanjing University of Technology, China now. My current research focuses on the evaluation of credit system.

I am satisfied with my study. However, due to the condition of the experiments, finances, and personal experiments are restricted, I would like to find an opportunity to go abroad for further study and research.Could it is possible for you to write a invitation for me ? Thank you so much.

Your comments and consideration will be highly appreciated.

I am looking forward to hear from you.

Sincerely yours,

Ran Zhang.

Here is my resume:

1.education:

(1)2008.09-2012.06

Name of institution: Anhui University of Science and Technology

Major: automation

Academic Degree: bachelor of engineering

(2)2012.06-

Name of institution:Nanjing University of Technology

Major:systems engineering

2.honors:

(1)national encouragement scholarship 2009.5

(2)national encouragement scholarship 2010.5

3.Certificates

(1)College English Test 6

(2)National computer rank examination certificate grade 2:language C

4.Foreign language:

Toefl exam :

Reading: 28 Listening :23 Speaking :20 Writing :28

批改后:

Dear Professor Jin:

(先介绍自己 类似as a graudate from AUST...)I am writing to you about the possibility of studying and researching in your lab as a visiting scholar(student比较好吧.不过这句话,个人觉得,用一些比较婉转的口气比较好,类似I would like to know if the vacancy/headcount of visiting student in your lab is still available...It will be my great honor to be considered as one of your lab members....句子你自己发挥,大致就是这样的feel) The China Scholarship Council(CSC) has approved my request to study abroad. They will provide me with 1200 dollars per month along with a round-trip ticket as financial support for half an year. I plan to go to the U.S. this year in October or November.(这段个人建议放到后面写)

Your researches are of particular interest to me, especially in sustainable supply chain theory,(这里直接接你目前研究的方向或者是目前感兴趣的点比较好,介绍完了就可以讲说,你这边的怎么怎么好契合了我的这个研究方向) Your group's research is so outstanding that I believe that if given the opportunity to study and research under your guidance, the experience at your lab can improve my research capacity, learn technology that is more new, and enlarge my knowledge in this field, which will benefit me a lot in the future study and job.

I graduated from Anhui University of Science and Technology and got my bachelor degree. I am a graduate student of professor Liang at Nanjing University of Technology, China now. My current research focuses on the evaluation of credit system.(所以这段话就可以直接融合到上两段去)

I am satisfied with my study.(不要说满意,可以说目前学到的东西不能满足你的需求 ,你希望可以怎么样怎么样,说点类似future plan的东西,引出你的MOTIVATION) However, due to the condition of the experiments, finances, and personal experiments are restricted, I would like to find an opportunity to go abroad for further study and research.(所以这句话也要考虑改一下,重点是要给他一种你其实很优秀的FEEL)Could it is possible for you to write a invitation for me ? Thank you so much.

(这里可以加上刚才开头那段说你得到认可,有financial support之类的话,再引出it will be really appreciated if you could consider my application and give me a invitation letter ...blah blah之类的,句子的话你可以再组织下)

Your comments and consideration will be highly appreciated.

I am looking forward to hear from you.

Sincerely yours,

Ran Zhang.

Here is my resume:

1.education:

(1)2008.09-2012.06

Name of institution: Anhui University of Science and Technology

Major: automation

Academic Degree: bachelor of engineering

(2)2012.06-

Name of institution:Nanjing University of Technology

Major:systems engineering

2.honors:

(1)national encouragement scholarship 2009.5

(2)national encouragement scholarship 2010.5

3.Certificates

(1)College English Test 6

(2)National computer rank examination certificate grade 2:language C

4.Foreign language:

Toefl exam :

Reading: 28 Listening :23 Speaking :20 Writing :28

重点单词   查看全部解释    
request [ri'kwest]

想一想再看

n. 要求,请求
vt. 请求,要求

联想记忆
encouragement [in'kʌridʒmənt]

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n. 鼓励

 
evaluation [i.vælju'eiʃən]

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n. 估价,评价

 
supply [sə'plai]

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n. 补给,供给,供应,贮备
vt. 补给,供

联想记忆
particular [pə'tikjulə]

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adj. 特殊的,特别的,特定的,挑剔的
n.

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benefit ['benifit]

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n. 利益,津贴,保险金,义卖,义演
vt.

联想记忆
sincerely [sin'siəli]

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adv. 真诚地,真心地

 
opportunity [.ɔpə'tju:niti]

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n. 机会,时机

 
institution [.insti'tju:ʃən]

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n. 机构,制度,创立

联想记忆
application [.æpli'keiʃən]

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n. 应用; 申请; 专心
n. 应用软件程序

 

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