![QQ截图20120615125859.png](http://pic.kekenet.com/2012/0615/14561339736493.png)
Mea culpa. I had thought that the 2012 Olympics were destined to descend into chaos. I now know that the games will be a triumphant celebration of London's place as an unrivalled global hub. My first error was to underestimate the guile of the organisers; my second to be naive about the proper measure of success.
是我的错。我曾以为,2012年伦敦奥运会注定要成为一场闹剧。现在我知道,伦敦奥运会将办成一次热闹的欢庆会,为伦敦无与伦比的全球中心地位喝彩。我一是错在低估了组织者的狡猾,二是错在,对于什么才是衡量成功的合适标准,我的看法太过天真。
The scales fell from my eyes the other day when the London Underground suffered another of its catastrophic breakdowns. Thousands were trapped underground in baking heat. The grand design suddenly came into pin-sharp focus. Some might have thought this latest incident was another reason why sane people should flee the capital before the Olympic hordes arrive. Well, yes. But–and here is the brilliance of Lord Coe and his fellow 2012 panjandrums–that's the plan.
就在伦敦地铁系统再次发生重大故障的那一天,我恍然大悟。当时,数千人被困在地下,酷热难耐。这个宏大的设计作品一下成为了人们的关注焦点。有些人或许会想,这起最新的事故,是那些理智的人们应该在奥运人潮到来之前逃离伦敦的又一个原因。恩,没错。但这样就正中了组织者们的下怀,而这一计划得益于科勋爵(Lord Coe)和伦敦奥组委其他大员们的出众才华。
The strategy was put in place many months ago. It began with an announcement that every decent hotel room in London had been pre-booked by the apparatchiks and commercial sponsors who, without a hint of irony, go by the name of the Olympic family. This 40,000-strong elite had also grabbed all the best seats at all the best events.
具体策略在好几个月前就已部署到位。先是有消息说,伦敦所有像样的酒店房间都已被政府官员和商业赞助商预订一空,而且是以奥运大家庭的名义(绝不含一丝讽刺意味)。这个4万多人的精英群体还霸占了所有热门赛事的最佳观看座位。
Hot on its heels came a statement that arterial roads will be cordoned off into Zil lanes to allow members of the family to be whisked between hotel suites and stadiums, pools and velodromes. Mere mortals whose vehicles stray into these reserved routes will face draconian penalties. Residents will be fined for parking outside their own properties.
紧接着,官方宣布,奥运会期间,主要道路将划出专用车道,以便"大家庭"的成员能够顺畅地往来于酒店、体育场、游泳馆和室内赛车场之间。普通人的车辆一旦驶入这些专用车道,将受到严厉的处罚。居民若将车辆停在自家住宅外,也将接到罚单。
Those with the temerity to challenge the branding rights of sponsors can expect similar punishment. London has been gifted to McDonald's, Coca-Cola and the like for the duration of the games. Wear a T-shirt advertising Pepsi and you could be sent to the slammer.
那些胆敢侵犯赞助商广告权的人,你们也等着挨罚吧。在奥运会期间,伦敦已经作为礼物送给了麦当劳(McDonald's)、可口可乐(Coca-Cola)这样的赞助商。你要是穿着一件宣传百事可乐(Pepsi)的T恤,有可能会惹上牢狱之灾。
David Cameron has played his part. Innocents may have thought that the chaos at Heathrow has been no more than another example of the manifest incompetence of Mr Cameron's government. Theresa May, the home secretary, is incapable of managing an immigration queue. Images of the dire conditions at the airport have been aired on television networks around the world. What better way to persuade people to stay away.
戴维•卡梅伦(David Cameron)也"功不可没"。那些天真的人可能曾想,伦敦希思罗机场(Heathrow)的混乱只不过再一次表明,卡梅伦政府显然能力有限。入境检查处排起了长龙,英国内政大臣特蕾莎•梅(Theresa May)却不知如何应对。全世界的人们都通过电视网络看到了希思罗机场的混乱画面。还有什么比这更能说服人们远离这块是非之地?
Every lull in the build-up to July's opening ceremony has been carefully filled with bad news. Boris Johnson, newly re-elected as mayor of London, has published guidance for those who might want to move around the city during the games. In summary, it says they should walk, get on a bike or stay at home. Passengers at every big rail interchange have been told to expect delays of at least an hour even before they can be crammed like sardines into steaming carriages. Tube travellers buckle in the summer heat at the best of times. For the games, Mr Johnson is proffering an invitation to hell.
在7月份奥运会开幕式之前,方方面面都被一个个坏消息"精心"填满。最近当选连任伦敦市长的鲍里斯•约翰逊(Boris Johnson)公布了一项指导意见,总体来说,就是建议那些在奥运会期间想要在伦敦走走逛逛的人,最好采用步行或是骑自行车的方式,或是干脆就呆在家中。地铁乘客得知,在地铁各个主要换乘点,可能至少要等上一个小时,才能像沙丁鱼一样被塞进火炉一般的车厢。即使在最好的时候,夏日酷暑也会让地铁乘客们一个个蔫头耷脑。约翰逊似乎是在发出这样的奥运会邀请:欢迎来到地狱。
Some folk will manage to reach the Olympic park. There they will be stripped of any food and drink they might be carrying to sustain them during the spectacle. How else to force them to pay the exorbitant prices that will be demanded by official franchisees?
经过一番努力,有些人将终于能够进入奥林匹克公园。为了不在观看表演时饿肚子,他们也许会随身带上食物,但在那里,他们的一切食物和饮料都将被没收。除此以外,还有什么办法迫使他们购买官方特许经销商出售的高价食品呢?
Businesses have been forewarned. Lest the transport network completely implode companies have been told to slash the numbers of employees commuting into the centre. Workers will stretch their vacations or spend time with their laptops in the garden. Never mind the economy is in recession.
企业也被事先打好了招呼。为了防止交通网络陷入瘫痪,企业被要求大幅减少往返于市中心上班的员工人数。上班族们将延长他们的假期,或是在花园里用笔记本电脑打发时间。经济衰退?没人在意。
It is when you put the pieces together that the ingenuity of the 2012 organisers takes shape. From the very beginning the plan has not been to stage a great carnival, but to empty the city. London will belong to the Olympic family and to those lucky souls with tickets.
只有当你把一件件小事放到一起,才会感受到2012年奥运会组织者的聪明才智和别出心裁。从一开始,他们的计划就不是要献上一场宏大的狂欢盛宴,而是要打造一座"空城"。伦敦将属于"奥林匹克大家庭",属于那些手里有票的幸运儿。
I had fondly imagined that a successful games demanded public participation. The organisers have understood that it is the billions who watch the games on TV who matter. The images beamed to Beijing, Delhi, New York and Tokyo will be the real measure of success.
我曾天真地以为,一届成功的奥运会需要公众的参与。而组织者们认为,真正重要的那群人,是在电视机前观看比赛的数十亿观众。向北京、德里、纽约和东京传送的画面才是衡量成功的真正标准。
These distant viewers will see athletes skipping untroubled through a deserted and well-staffed Heathrow. They will see reports of trains running smoothly, of red buses speeding along unclogged roads, and of restaurants, bars, parks and museums with plenty of room to spare. For a month or so London will actually work. Only those of us who actually live here will know that it is all a fraud. That's what I call genius.
那些远在千里之外的观众将看到运动员们畅行无阻地通过空空荡荡、管理有序的希思罗机场。他们将看到列车运行通畅的报道,不仅如此,他们还将看到新闻报道里说:红色巴士在没有路障的道路上疾驰,餐厅、酒吧、公园和博物馆空旷宜人。在一个月左右的时间中,伦敦的确将保持正常运转。但只有我们这些真正住在此地的人才知道,这些全都是骗人的把戏。这,就是我所谓的"天才"。