5 话说金荣因人多势众，又兼贾瑞勒令赔了不是，给秦钟磕了头，宝玉方才不吵闹了。大家散了学，金荣自己回到家中，越想越气，说：“秦钟不过是贾蓉的小舅子，又不是贾家的子孙，附学读书，也不过和我一样。因他仗着宝玉和他相好，就目中无人。……”

Translation 1:

With heavy pressure on him and orders from Chia Jui to apologize, Chin Jung had to appease Pao-yu by kowtowing to Chin Chung. Then school was dismissed and he went home, where the more he brooded the angrier he grew.

“That flunkey Chin Chung is only Chia Jung’s brother-in-law, not a son or grandson of the Chia family,” he fumed. “He’s only in the school on sufferance, just as I am. But on the strength of his friendship with Pao-yu he looks down on everyone else….”

(Translated by Yang Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang)

（译文紧扣原文意义，将一段原文译成两段，改变了原文的语篇结构，个别地方略嫌拘谨。）

Translation 2:

Outnumbered, and hard pressed by Jia Rui to apologize, Jokey Jin made a kotow to Qin Zhong, whereupon Bao-yu agreed to let the matter drop. Back in his own home, when school was over, he brooded with mounting anger on his humiliation.

‘Qin Zhong is Jia Rong’s brother-in-law: it’s not as if he were one of the Jia clan. He’s only an external scholar, the same as me; and it’s only because he is friends with Bao-yu that he can afford to be so high and mighty. …’

(Translated by David Hawkes)

（译文意义紧扣原文，将一段原文译成两段，改变了原文的语篇结构，半音半意译了金荣；译文第一段连贯性强，第二段具备口语特征。）

Translation 3:

Sensing that the other party had a gang of people and Jia Rui compelled him to apologize, Jin Rong apologized and kowtowed to Qin Zhong, having Baoyu appeased. After school and having returned home, Jin Rong got more and more enraged through contemplations, saying: “Being merely a brother-in-law of Jia Rong’s, Qin Zhong is not among any younger generation of the Jia family. Like myself, he is included in the school only by a special permission. With Baoyu standing by his side, he should be so arrogant as to look down upon others. …”

（译文紧扣原文，未改变原文的语篇结构，连贯性强，但直接思维翻译得略带书卷气。）

6 话说是贾敬的寿辰，贾珍先将上等好吃的东西，稀奇的果品，装了十六大捧盒，着贾蓉带领家下人与贾敬送去，向贾蓉说道：“你留神看太爷喜欢不喜欢，你就行了礼起来说：‘父亲遵太爷的话，不敢前来，在家里率领合家都朝上行了礼了。’”贾蓉听罢，即率领家人去了。

Translation 1:

Chia Ching’s birthday had now arrived. Chia Chen had sixteen large hampers filled with choice delicacies and rare fruit and sent Chia Jung with some servants to deliver them.

“Make sure your grandfather’s agreeable before you pay your respects,” he cautioned his son. “Tell him that in compliance with his wishes I’ve not ventured to go, but I am assembling the whole family here to honor him.”

(Translated by Yang Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang)

（译文紧扣原文意义，将一段原文译成两段，改变了原文的语篇结构，翻译引语中的引语时也转换了叙事角度。）

Translation 2:

Jia Jing’s birthday had now arrived. Cousin Zhen packed sixteen lacquer gift-boxes with the rarest and choicest delicacies and instructed Jia Rong to take a number of domestics with him and deliver them to Jia Jing. He was to observe carefully whether or not his grandfather was pleased, and having made his kowtow, was to deliver the following message:

‘Because of your request, Father has not ventured to visit you himself. Instead he will place himself at the head of the entire family and lead them in prostrating themselves in your direction.’

Having received his father’s instructions, Jia Rong mustered his band of servants and set out.

(Translated by David Hawkes)

（译文紧扣原文意义，将一段原文译成三段，改变了原文的语篇结构，以叙事人的口气翻译了引语，以引语的方式翻译了引语中的引语。）

Translation 3:

As Jia Jing’s birthday was drawing near, Jia Zhen packed 16 great gift-boxes with the most delicious foods and rarest fruits and sent Jia Rong with a few servants to deliver them. On Jia Rong’s departure, he said: “Be careful to see whether your grandpa like them or not. Having kowtowed, you would tell your grandpa: ‘Abiding by your order, my father would not dare to come to pay his courtesy. However, he had led the whole family kowtowed at home already.’” Knocking his head, Jia Rong started off with the servants.

（译文紧扣原文，未改变原文的语篇结构，引语和引语中的引语都一如原文。）

7 话说熙凤正与平儿说话，只见有人回说：“瑞大爷来了。”凤姐命：“请进来罢。”贾瑞见请，心中暗喜。见了凤姐，满面陪笑，连连问好。凤姐儿也假意殷勤让座让茶。贾瑞见凤姐如此打扮，越发酥倒，因饧了眼问道：“二哥怎么还不回来？”凤姐道：“不知什么缘故。”贾瑞道：“别是路上有人绊了脚，舍不得回来了罢？”

Translation 1:

While Hsi-feng was talking to Ping-erh, Chia Jui was announced. She ordered him to be admitted at once.

Overjoyed at being received, he hastened in and greeted her effusively, beaming with smiles. With a show of regard she made him take a seat and offered him tea. The sight of her in informal dress threw him into raptures. Gazing amorously at her he asked:

“Why isn’t Second Brother Lien home yet?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Hsi-feng replied.

“Perhaps he’s been caught by someone and can’t tear himself away?”

(Translated by Yang Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang)

（译文紧扣原文意义，对话翻译遵从了英语的写作习惯，改变了原文的语篇结构。）

Translation 2:

Jia Rui’s arrival was announced while Xi-feng and Patience were still talking about him.

‘Ask him in,’ said Xi-feng.

Hearing that he was to be received, Jia Rui rejoiced inwardly. He came into the room wreathed in smiles and overwhelmed Xi-feng with civilities. With feigned solicitude she pressed him to be seated and to take tea. He became quite ecstatic at the sight of her informal dress.

‘Why isn’t Cousin Lian back yet?’ he asked, staring with fascinated eyes.

‘I don’t know what the reason can be,’ said Xi-feng.

‘Could it be,’ Jia Rui inquired archly, ‘that someone has detained him on his way home and that he can’t tear himself away?’

(Translated by David Hawkes)

（译文紧扣原文意义，引语和对话的翻译都遵从了英语的写作习惯，大幅度地改变了原文的语篇结构，人名翻译遵从自己的一贯原则。）

Translation 3:

Engaged in a chat with Ping’er, Xifeng sensed someone coming to report: “Lord Jia Rui has come.” Sister Xifeng ordered: “Show him in then.” Invited to enter, Jia Rui was pleased at heart. On seeing Sister Xifeng, he extended repeated greetings with ingratiating smiles. With pretentious courtesy, Sister Xifeng offered him a seat and a cup of tea. Sensing Sister Xifeng in casual dress, Jia Rui was even more overwhelmed. Shooting her an amorous glance, he asked: “How on earth the second brother isn’t back yet?” “I am not sure why,” replied she. “Is he attracted by someone on his way and then he could not tear himself away?” asked Jia Rui.

（译文紧扣原文，未改变原文的语篇结构，遣词造句有别于两前译。）

8 话说凤姐儿自贾琏送黛玉往扬州去了，心中实在无趣，每到晚间，不过同平儿说笑一回便胡乱睡了。这日夜间和平儿灯下拥炉，早命浓薰绣被，二人睡下，屈指计算行程该到何处，不知不觉已交三鼓。

Translation 1:

Hsi-feng found life excessively dull after her husband’s departure with Tai-yu for Yangchow. She passed the evenings as best she could chatting with Ping-erh before retiring listlessly to bed.

One evening, tired of embroidering, she sat nursing her hand-stove by the lamp and told the maid to warm her embroidered quilt early, after which they both went to bed. When the third watch sounded they were still reckoning on their fingers the stage Chia Lien must have reached on his journey.

(Translated by Yang Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang)

（译文紧扣原文意义，将一段原文译成两段，改变了原文的语篇结构。）

Translation 2:

After Jia Lian’s departure for Yangchow Xi-feng felt bored and unhappy, particularly in the evenings when, apart from chatting with Patience, there seemed little to do but sleep. On the occasion of which we write she had sat beside the lamp with Patience until late into the evening; then, the bedding having been well warmed, the two women had gone to bed, where they lay until after midnight discussing the stages of Jia Lian’s journey and attempting to calculate what point he was likely to have reached in it.

(Translated by David Hawkes)

（译文基本上紧扣原文意义，未改变原文结构，但行文近于写作，对原文细节略有增删。）

Translation 3:

Since Jia Lian accompanied Daiyu back to Yangzhou, Sister Xifeng felt quite dull. Every night, engaged with Ping’er in gossip of nonsense, she would go to bed straightly. On that night, with Ping’er, she embraced a hand stove by the dim light. Then she ordered to have her perfumed silk quilt ready earlier than usual and then went to bed with Ping’er, figuring where Jia Lian had reached. But before she knew it, it was the third round of watch already.

（译文紧扣原文，注意了自身的衔接与连贯，译文最后一句与两前译不同，完全贴近原文。）

9 话说宁国府中都总管来升闻知府里委请了凤姐，因传齐同事人等说道：“如今请了西府里琏二奶奶管理内事，倘或他来支取东西，或是说话，小心侍侯才好。每日大家早来晚散，宁可辛苦这一个月，过后再歇息，别把老脸面扔了。那是个有名的烈货，脸酸心硬；一时恼了，不认人的！”

Translation 1:

When the news that Hsi-feng was to take charge reached Lai Sheng, chief steward of the Ning Mansion, he summoned all his colleagues.

“Madam Chia Lien of the West Mansion is coming to supervise our household,” he told them. “When she asks for things or gives orders, we must be extra careful. Better turn up earlier and leave later every day, working hard this month and resting afterwards, in order not to lose face. You know what a terror she is, sour-faced, hard-hearted and no respecter of persons once she’s angry.”

(Translated by Yang Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang)

（译文意义紧扣原文，将一段原文译成两段，改变了原文的语篇结构，但引语的翻译略嫌拘谨。）

Translation 2:

When Lai Sheng, the Chief Steward of the Ning-guo mansion, learned that Xi-feng had been invited to take on the management of the household, he called his cronies together and addressed them in the following terms:

‘Well lads, it seems that they’ve called in Mrs Lian from the other house to run things here for a bit; so if she should happen to come round asking for anything or have occasion to talk to you about anything, be sure to do what she says, won’t you? During this coming month we shall all have to start work a bit earlier and knock off a bit later than usual. If you’ll put up with a little extra hardship just for this month, we can make up for it by taking things easy when it’s over. Anyway, I’m relying on you not to let me down. She’s well known for a sour-faced, hard-hearted bitch is this one, and once she’s got her back up, she’ll give no quarter, no matter who you are. So be careful.’

(Translated by David Hawkes)

（译文意义基本上紧扣原文，引语的翻译非常口语化，叙事角度与前译略有不同，使译文更加连贯，主题意义更为鲜明。）

Translation 3:

On hearing that at the invitation, Sister Xifeng would come to manage the family affairs of the Ning Mansion, Lai Sheng, chief steward, gathered all his colleagues and warned them: “At the invitation, Madam Jia Lian will come to manage the family affairs of our mansion. If she asks for things or orders someone to run an errand, be careful to answer her properly. I hope every day you will have to come early and leave late, working hard for the coming month and taking a decent relaxation after that. She is notorious for her quick temper, with a face as cold as cucumber and a heart as hard as stone. She will not mind who you are if she is offended!”

（译文紧扣原文，未改变原文结构，引语翻译略带书卷气。）

10 话说宝玉举目见北静王水溶净白簪缨银翅王帽，穿着江牙海水五爪龙白蟒袍，系着碧玉红鞓带；面如美玉，目似明星；真好秀丽人物。

Translation 1:

Looking up, Pao-yu saw that the Prince of Peiching had on a princely silver-winged cap with white tassels, a white robe embroidered with zigzag wave patterns and five-clawed dragons, and a red leather belt studded with green jade. With his face fair as jade, his eyes bright as stars, he was truly a handsome figure.

(Translated by Yang Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang)

（译文紧扣原文。北静王是在秦可卿出殡的路上搭棚吊唁时接见贾宝玉的，其装束可能与吊唁有关。但原文没有显说，译文也没有显译。）

Translation 2:

Looking up, Bao-yu saw that Shui Rong’s princely headgear was embellished by way of mourning with white bands, a white hatpin, and filigree silver ‘wings’. As a further token of mourning his robe, though heavily bordered with a ‘tooth and wave’ design of rainbow-colored stripes and gold-emblazoned with the royal five-clawed dragon, was of a white material. It was confined at the waist by a red leather belt, studded with green jade. The splendid costume, the luminous eyes, the finely chiseled features really did make him an arrestingly handsome young man.

(Translated by David Hawkes)

（译者将上文中的素服理解为孝服，因而将衣饰上的白颜色当成了吊孝的标记，并如是翻译。为此，译者翻译时部分地改变了原文的意义。）

Translation 3:

Having raised his eyes, Baoyu saw that Prince Beijing, named Shuirong, with his face fair as jade and eyes bright as stars, was really a handsome prince in his prince dress: a silver-winged prince cap with white tassels, a white dragon robe with five dragon claws in addition to a zigzagged river and a waving sea, and a red leather belt at the waist studded with green jade.

（译文紧扣原文，但颠倒了原文的意义顺序，遣词造句也有别于杨译。）