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管管伦敦的骑车族吧！
不久前，有一篇报道说，自行车车座会对生殖器官造成损伤性影响，经常骑车的男性可能因此患上不育症。这让我太高兴了。在我看来，任何阻止骑车人繁衍后代的事都是好事，应该加以欢迎。
Some while ago I read a newspaper story saying male cyclists who rode a lot risked impotence because of the damaging effect of the saddle on their reproductive organs. It quite made my day. In my opinion, anything that stops cyclists breeding is to be welcomed as an unmitigated good.
骑自行车的人真讨厌。至少，我每天在伦敦见到的那些骑车人真让人讨厌。表面上，他们看起来像是和蔼可亲、值得尊敬、遵纪守法的中产阶级人士。通常情况下，也许确实如此。但这帮人蹬起自行车的那一刻，就不是那么回事儿了。
I hate cyclists. At least, I hate the ones I see in London every day. Outwardly, they may appear to be nice, respectable, law-abiding, middle-class people, and perhaps they normally are. But the moment they straddle their bikes, something snaps.
让骑车族变坏的不仅是自以为是，而是一种根深蒂固的不公平感。一方面，他们感到自鸣得意，高人一等。另一方面，他们容易出车祸，这一点很伤自尊。如此不公平让骑车族怒火满腔，把他们变成了十足的疯子。他们被一种复仇的欲望攫住，要报复这个残酷、如此错待他们的社会。
It is not just the self-righteousness that gets to them. It is a deep-seated sense of injustice. On the one hand, they feel smug and superior, yet on the other, they are constantly humiliated by the knowledge of their acute vulnerability. The unfairness of it all fills them with such outrage that they turn into complete nutters, gripped by a desire for vengeance on a world that has wronged them so cruelly.
骑车族对法律的蔑视令人吃惊。他们一向无视红灯，让本应该安全无虞的过街行人险象环生。这帮人沿着单行线逆行，每天早晨竟在我们当地小学门外跟家长和孩子玩“闪人”游戏。只要他们觉得方便，这帮人就会骑过人行交叉路口，骑上人行道。他们当中比较好斗的，还会朝挡路人破口大喊大叫。至于那些一时误入自行车道的汽车司机或行人，但愿老天保佑所有的人吧。
