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You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck.
你的厨艺弱爆了，完全弱爆了。
So the first thing you need is yams.
首先需要红薯。
See that?
看到了吗？
What I did was I just cut off anything I didn't like, like that.
把不喜欢的部分削掉就行了，就像这样。
I don't like you, don't like you, don't like you.
我不喜欢你，不喜欢你，不喜欢你。
The rest is cool.
剩下的都还行。
I'm just gonna cube these to some level of cubic.
然后把红薯切成块状。
Pop, pop, pop, pop.
砰，砰，砰，砰。
It's really important that you use avocado oil, if you're also making this at my friend's house and that's all they have.
很重要的一点是要用鳄梨油，如果你像我一样是在朋友家做这个菜，而他们家里只有这种油。
So we had onion.
拿一个洋葱。
Giving the onion a nice massage; it had a hard day.
给洋葱好好按摩一下，它累了一整天了。
I'm not sure about this, but I'm gonna put in a little bit of minced garlic from a jar.
我不太确定，但我会放一点罐子里的蒜蓉。
Put in as much dill as you can find.
把能找到的茴香都放进去。
I want to put in seven or eight kilograms of dill.
我想放他个七八公斤的茴香。
Just grab the nearest thing you can and start wangjangling this.
顺手拿个家伙，然后搅就行了。
Take a pan.
拿一只平底锅。
Essentially what you're trying to do here is slam jam or cram several grams of yam, but less than a kilogram into the pan,
从本质上讲，你要做的就是酱酱糊糊，拌匀红薯。
while sending a telegram of a sonogram exam by tram to some of your fam, regardless of your plans to let them know you're a really big supporter of everything they do.
同时给朋友发超声波检查电报，说不管发生什么你都站在他们一边。
I really should have chopped this dill fine probably, so now I just gotta like live with the consequences.
我可能真的应该把茴香切碎一点，所以现在只能将就一下了。
Time to take a trip to the furnace.
是时候去熔炉里走一趟了。
And we have the onions set to 375.
把洋葱烤箱调到375度。
Whoa, calm down.
哇，冷静点。
While that's baking, I just want to quickly show you how to identify a yam from the outside.
等那边烤着，我想快速教你如何从外表识别红薯。
Basically looks like, like that...
基本上就是，就是这样的。
A cool craft you can do for the kids is if you take a couple yam slices, make some strips, you can make some line designs.
你可以给孩子们做一个很酷的手工品，切几片山药，再切成条，然后可以做一些线条设计。
This and it's like a pentayam.
一个红薯五角星。
And then you can, you know, sing a little fun song.
然后你就可以开始吟诵。
Mighty Lord Satan by whom all things are set free, I cast myself utterly in divine arms and place myself unreservedly in the all-powerful protection.
万能的撒旦让万物自由，我投身于神圣怀抱，无边法力护我此身。
It's been like 35 or 40 minutes.
已经有35到40分钟了。
Don't forget to turn off the onion.
别忘了把洋葱烤箱关掉。
So you'll know these are ready when you, like, the way they taste.
尝一尝，你就知道熟了没有。
I really should have salted this beforehand.
应该先撒点盐的。
And I also should have added the pepper pepper pepper when it was in the bowl.
在碗里搅拌的时候也应该加点胡椒胡椒胡椒的。
We have some yams and you could just serve these yams on a plate.
红薯做好了，可以直接装在盘子里。
There's a lot you can do to really make this visually stunning.
有很多办法可以让它更有视觉冲击力一点。
You don't want to clutter the plate, so like some minimalism is good.
不要把盘子塞得满满的，极简主义是王道。
Contrasting shapes are nice, so I would just put a banana in here.
用形状形成鲜明对比是个好办法，所以我会在这里放一根香蕉。
From there it's kind of nice if you have some like colorful ribbon.
这样的话，如果有一些像五颜六色的彩带就很不错。
Take a pair of scissors.
拿一把剪刀。
And then just take a nice contrasting color tape, like say black.
然后剪一条对比色的丝带，比如黑色。
Just slam some nice curly Q's around the side of the plate.
在盘子边上打几个漂亮的卷就行了。
You can even use some black ribbons.
甚至可以用一些黑丝带。
Black is beautiful. Black is your soul.
黑色是美丽的。黑色是你的灵魂。
Now I've got a nice bow here.
这里放个漂亮的蝴蝶结。
Because anytime you make someone food, it's a gift.
因为任何时候你给别人做饭，都是在送一份礼物。
Take an egg carton, oh, just spider in here, look.
拿一个装鸡蛋的盒子，哦，有只蜘蛛，看。
We'll include the spider in the presentation.
干脆蜘蛛也放进去吧。
And that's kind of like a live exhibit and you draw a little face here, you put some pipe cleaners in, you got a nice caterpillar.
搞得像活体展览一样，在这里画一个脸，放入试管刷，就有了一只毛毛虫。
And the cool thing about the caterpillar is it denotes freshness.
有毛毛虫表示食物新鲜。
So you can just have that guy, and you know this is starting to look really good.
所以可以放进去，看起来真是不错。
Take the whole plate, and you get some kind of like industrial sander, but just having a little motion.
拿起整个盘子，再拿一个像工业磨砂机一样的东西，让它稍微动起来。
Where does the spider go?
蜘蛛跑到哪里去了？
So in a hard time staying, so...
有点难搞啊。
You keep your fork here as it comes around.
把叉子放在这儿，等它转过来。
Boom it just goes right on your fork.
哈，正好送到你的叉子上。
See?
看见了?
It just goes to show that with just the most minimal effort you can pick something that's totally beautiful.
这表明，只需要最少的努力，你就可以挑出最美的东西。
Oh, man.
哦，我的天。
You suck at cooking, oh my god.
你的厨艺弱爆了，哦，天哪。
You suck, you suck at cooking, oh my god.
你的厨艺弱爆了，弱爆了，我的天。
You suck, suck at cooking, you suck...
你的厨艺弱爆了，弱爆了。
