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It’s natural and beautiful to strive to be a nice person.
努力成为一个好人是很自然也很美好的事情。
In a world full of cruelty and thoughtlessness, nice people are committed to being generous, sympathetic and gentle.
这个世界残酷无情，而善良的人致力于变得慷慨、富有同情心、温和。
They never want to cause anyone to feel defeated or to lose sleep.
他们从来不想让任何人感到挫败或睡不着觉。
They will go to great lengths to spare others tears.
他们会竭尽全力不让他人落泪。
It sounds especially lovely.
听起来特别亲切和善。
Nevertheless, it seems impossible to go through the whole of life being nothing but kind.
然而，以善良的态度度过一生似乎是不可能的。
Sooner or later, we are all called upon to take decisions that, even as they protect things we very much care about, will ruffle feathers, generate upset and may lead us to be (at least for a time) violently hated in some quarters.
迟早，我们都会被要求做出这样的决定:即使这些决定保护了我们非常关心的东西，也会激怒我们，让我们心烦意乱，并可能导致我们(至少在一段时间内)在某些方面被憎恨。
We might, for example, have to tell a romantic partner that, in spite of our deep affection for them, we don’t see ourselves being together for the long term.
例如，我们可能不得不告诉恋爱对象，尽管我们深爱着他们，但我们认为我们不会待在一起很长时间。
Or we might have to tell a child that it’s now bedtime and that there can be no more stories.
或者我们可能不得不告诉孩子，现在是睡觉时间了，不能再讲故事了。
Or we might have to explain to a colleague that we don’t see them fitting into a team and that they might be better off looking for opportunities elsewhere.
或者，我们可能不得不向一位同事解释，我们认为他们不适合这个团队，他们最好去别处寻找机会。
Such situations can be agony for committedly ‘nice’ people.
这样的情况可能会让那些致力于做“好人”的人感到痛苦。
There are great temptations to delay the moment of truth or avoid it altogether.
存在推迟或完全避免真相时刻出现的巨大诱惑。
The ‘nice’ still deep down hope that they might - while always smiling and agreeing - stay friends with everyone.
“好”的人仍然在内心深处希望他们能够——尽管总是面带微笑和表示同意——与每个人保持朋友关系。
Their distinctive sensitivity has often have been fostered by childhoods in which the consequences of being honest and forthright were especially difficult.
他们独特的敏感性格往往是在童年时期培养出来的，在这一时期，诚实和直率会让他们面临困难。
They might have had a parent who flew into a rage or threatened suicide whenever an awkward idea was laid before them
他们可能有过这样的父母，每当一个尴尬的想法摆在他们面前时，他们就会勃然大怒，或者威胁要自杀
- perfect preparation for an adulthood in which there appears to be no option but to tell everyone what they want to hear.
这是为一个成年期做的完美准备，在这个成年期，除了告诉每个人他们想听的东西外，似乎没有其他选择。
However, being truly nice involves something ‘nicer’ still than constant agreement and emollience.
然而，真正的“好”还包括一些比持续的表示同意和态度温和更“好”的东西。
It means signalling to others what one’s value system is and sticking by it, even at the occasional cost of public opposition.
这意味着向他人表明自己的价值体系并表示会坚持下去，即使偶尔会遭到公众反对。
It means taking on the burden of telling others where we stand and ruining their afternoon or month in order to save their long-term future and our own.
这意味着我们要承担起告诉他人我们的立场的责任，为了他们和我们自己的长远未来，可能会毁掉他们的下午或这个月。
It means accepting that there might be choices to be made between loyalty and sincerity and effectiveness and bonhomie.
这意味着你可以在忠诚、真诚、效率和友善之间做出选择。
Mature people have come to terms with the tragic need to acquire something even more important than popularity: a character.
成熟的人已经接受了悲剧：需要获得比人气更重要的东西:做一个讨厌的人。
