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经典双语笑话(MP3+中英字幕) 第52期:先享受后付款

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先享受后付款
Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women,
花花公子杰克喜欢到世界各地探险,和许多妓女风流,
but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him with far more than fond memories.
但在香港,他终于遇到一名职业神女,这名神女留给他的不止是温柔的回忆而已。
First, he consulted a British doctor.
首先他请教了一名英国医生。
"Good Lord!" exclaimed the medic,
“我的天啊!”医生叫道,
"you've got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook. I'm afraid we' re going to have to amputate. "
“你所患的性病比一本医学教科书还要丰富,恐怕我们必须把你的东西切除掉。”
Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said,
花花公子心生恐惧,便找了一位美国专科医师帮忙,但那名专科医师表情凝重地摇头说:
"Sorry, son; if we don't amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs. "
“对不起,小兄弟,如果我们不切除那活儿,病毒将会感染到其他器官。”
Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist.
那名风流公子走投无路,便向一位中医请教。
The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely.
这位充满智慧的老先生仔细检查病人后煞有介事地点头说道:
"I know your problem," he said. "You play with bad girl, she very sick, now you very sick. "
“我知道你的问题。你和坏女人乱搞,她的性病很严重,你现在的病情也很严重。
“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off... "
“大夫,英国和美国的医生都说我的东西必须要切除……”
"These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money. "
“这些西医所做的就是切,切,切,然后收一大笔钱。”
"You mean I don't need surgery? ! " exclaimed the young man joyously.
“你意思是我可以不用动外科手术?!”年轻人喜出望外地问道。
"Don't you worry, " said the ancient practitioner.
“别担心,”老中医师说:
"You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself."
“回家去,好好休息一阵,等二三个星期后,那活儿会自己掉下来。”

重点单词   查看全部解释    
gravely

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adv. 严肃地;严峻地;沉重地;严重地

 
practitioner [præk'tiʃənə]

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n. 从业者

联想记忆
spread [spred]

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v. 伸展,展开,传播,散布,铺开,涂撒
n.

 
professional [prə'feʃənl]

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adj. 职业的,专业的,专门的
n. 专业人

 
surgery ['sə:dʒəri]

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n. 外科,外科手术,诊所

 
pride [praid]

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n. 自豪,骄傲,引以自豪的东西,自尊心
vt

 

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