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Well, maybe I'm ready now. I mean, it's a little scary, but maybe it's right.
也许我现在就准备好了。虽说稍微有点吓人，但感觉对了。
What? It's not right! We're not ready to have a kid now!
什么感觉对了？我们还没有准备好要生孩子！
What?
什么？
I'm kidding. This is gonna be fun.
我在开玩笑，这一定会很好玩。
So we're gonna try? I mean, we're trying?
我们要试试看吗？我们现在就要试吗？
We're trying to get pregnant.
我们要试着怀孕。
You know I'm not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So, when do you wanna start trying?
我不想在宝宝面前干这种勾当。你想什么时候开始试？
All right, hold on a sec.
好吧，等一下。
Period math? Yeah. Yeah.
你在算生理周期？ 对。 好的。
Well, we could start trying now.
我们可以从现在开始。
Right here? No, not here. Maybe here.
在这里吗？ 不是，这里也可以啊。
Wait a minute, it's perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and we're in a building that's full of beds!
这里太适合了。我们有大把时间要消磨而且医院里到处都是床！
And it's so clean!
还很干净！
Come on, you stupid machine! Come on!
快点！你这台蠢机器！来嘛！
It ate your money?
把你的钱吃掉了吗？
No.
没有。
All right, I'll see you downstairs then. All right. All right.
好吧，那么楼下见。 好吧。 好的。
Hey, I got one! I got one!
我拿到了！
Oh, up or down? Oh. Down, please.
上还是下？ 下楼，谢谢。
I I hate to be a ball buster but can I just do it?
我讨厌抢男人的风头，但可以由我来吗？
Could you press up too? Sure.
麻烦你帮我按上。 没问题。
I feel bad for you. I broke my leg once too.
我真的很遗憾，我也曾摔断过腿。
Yeah? How'd yours happen?
是吗？你怎么会摔断腿？
Well, it's a long story, it's kind of embarrassing.
说来话长，有点丢脸。
Let's just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual.
其实是性爱手册排版上出了点小错误。
How about you? Car accident.
你呢？ 车祸。
Oh, let me guess some idiot on a cell phone wasn't paying attention?
有个白痴在打手机，没注意看路？
Yeah. Me.
对，就是我。
Oh, hey, that's me.
我的电梯来了。
Hey, I take it you're just visiting someone. Yeah.
我猜你是来探病的。 没错。
Well umm, if you have sometime you know and maybe you might wanna visit someone else...
如果你有时间，想探望其他人……
Yeah, I would like that.
对，我很乐意。
I'm in the middle... Wait! What? No! Elevator! No!
我在中间…… 等一下！不要啊！电梯！等等！
You gotta press the button.
你得按按钮才行。
The nurse said they're bringing in another woman.
护士说他们要送另一位女人过来。
Oh. Is she pregnant yet? She doesn't need to be. She'll still have the baby before I do.
她已经怀孕了吗？她根本不需要怀孕。她还是能赶在我之前把孩子生下来。
Oh, Ross! Another contraction.
罗斯！我又阵痛了。
Oh, okay. Here, here. That's it.
好吧。没错。
Oh, that sounded like a bad one. Yeah, it was.
听起来好像很痛。 没错。
Mine haven't been so bad. Oh, here comes one now.
我的阵痛没有那么厉害。又来了。
Oh, that was a big one.
真的好痛。
Excuse me, could you help me with something?
打扰一下，你能帮我个忙吗？
The patient I'm looking for has a broken leg and he is in a wheelchair. And umm, he's like early to mid thirties, very attractive.
我在找一位一条腿骨折的病人。他坐着轮椅，31到35岁，非常迷人。
I think I know who you're talking about.
我知道你在说谁。
Oh yay! Great! Ok, what room number is he in?
太棒了！他住几号病房？
I'm sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff...
小姐，对不起。只有医院人员能查看资料。
She's with me. Dr. Drake Ramoray.
她跟我是一起的，德雷克·拉莫瑞医生。
Dr. Drake who?
哪个德雷克医生？
Ramoray. It's Portuguese. We need that information. I'm a doctor.
拉莫瑞，那是葡萄牙姓氏。我们需要他的资料，我是医生。
A doctor at this hospital?
这间医院的医生？
Damn it woman we're losing precious time! Now do you want this man's blood on your head?
该死，我们正在浪费宝贵的时间。你希望头上沾上这个男人的血吗？
Hands. Hands!
是手。 手上！
It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. He's a patient of mine, I've been treating him for years!
你必须告诉我我助手描述的病人住几号病房。他是我的病人，我为他治疗多年了。
He's in room 816. 816. Thank you. Thank you.
他住816号病房。 816，谢谢。 谢谢。
And what is his name? No.
他叫什么名字？ 不要。
I think we found a place. Okay.
我们找到地方了。 好吧。
Wait. Wanna set the mood a little?
等一下，你想增加点气氛吗？
Ok. Uh, we'll dim lights, dim lights. Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. Ok, here. Here we go.
好，把灯调暗。或是通通关掉。没有精油蜡烛。好吧，来，喷一喷。
Okay, okay. Making me sterile, but okay.
好吧，帮我消了毒，但没关系。
Ok. That's right Oh wait! Do we have a condom? Oh right!
对不起，等一下，我们有安全套吗？对了！
Yes, 98.6. You're gonna be fine.
好，37摄氏度，你没有大碍。
This is it!
就是这里！
Oh, that's him! That's him! Great. Go get him!
就是他！ 太棒了！去找他吧！
Wait a second. Or maybe you could go in first.
等一下，你可以先进去。
He's not really my type.
他真的不是我的菜。
No, not you, Dr. Drake Ramoray.
不是以你的身份，而是拉莫瑞医生。
You could ask him questions and see what he's like. People tell doctors everything.
你可以问他问题，看看他是个什么样的人。大家对医生什么都肯说。
But you said he was this great guy.
你说他是个好男人。
But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks.
我认识的男人一开始看上去都很好最后都成了大混蛋。
You do attract some stinkers. Yeah, I know.
你的确吸引了一些烂男人。 对 我知道。
Dr. Long, I've been at this for 17 hours.
朗医生，我已经等了17个小时。
Three women have come and gone with their babies. You gotta give me good news.
三个女人进进出出，生下了孩子。你得给我点好消息。
How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
我张开了几公分？八？九？
Three. Just three?
三。 只有三公分？
I'm dilated three!
我都张开三公分了！
We are moving along, just slowly.
虽说慢了点，但还是有进展的。
Don't worry, you're doing great. I'll be back soon.
放心，你做得很好。我马上回来。
Hey, you know what? I'm not waiting! I'm gonna push this baby out! I'm doing it! I mean it's what? Three centimeters? That's gotta be like this! Right?
你知道吗？我不想等了。我要把孩子生出来。我现在就要生。三公分。大概有这么宽吧？
Actually, it's more like this.
事实上是这么宽。
Oh, stupid metric system.
愚蠢的公制系统。
Oh, my. We're gonna need to take you straight to the delivery room.
天啊，我们得直接把你推进产房了。
Oh, for the love of God!
行行好吧！
Hi! I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray and I have a few routine questions I need to ask you.
我是德雷克·拉莫瑞医生。我得问你几个例行的问题。
Really? I've been dealing with Dr. Wells.
真的吗？一直是威尔斯医生帮我治疗。
I know, but I'm a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so, he sent me.
我知道，我是神经科医生。为了预防万一，威尔斯医生需要更多相关资料。所以他请我过来。
Dr. Wells is a woman!
威尔斯医生是女的！
That was a test. Good response.
这是其中一项测试，反应不错。
All right. Full name? Clifford Burnett.
好吧，全名？ 克利夫·伯奈特。
Date of birth? November 16,1968.
生日？ 1968年11月16日。
Age?
年龄？
Can't you figure that out based on my date of birth?
你不会根据生日自己算吗？
I'm a doctor Cliff, not a mathematician.
我是医生，又不是数学家。
I'm 33. Okay.
33岁。 好吧。
And uh, are you married. No.
已婚吗？ 没有。
Oh, really? So 33 and single? Would you say you have commitment issues?
真的吗？33岁还是单身？你害怕许下承诺吗？
Are all the questions this personal?
所有的问题都涉及隐私吗？
Yes.
对。
Well, if you must know, I'm a widower.
如果一定要回答的话，我是鳏夫。
Oh, that's terrible. I'm I'm really sorry. Yeah.
太不幸了，我真的很遗憾。 没事。
Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
你跟女人上床之后，会再也不联系她吗？
No. Excellent. Excellent.
不会。 太棒了。
And finally, are you into any weird stuff, you know, sexually?
最后一题，你有奇怪的性癖好吗？
No! Oooh, wrong answer.
没有。 答错了。
What else? What else? He's 33.
还有呢？ 他33岁。
A widower. He seemed like a stand up guy. Oh, and he's not into anything weird sexually.
是个鳏夫。他似乎是个靠谱的男人。他没有奇怪的性癖好。
Enter Pheebs!
菲比要出马了！
This room's available.
这个房间是空的。
Ok! Ok wait! You listen to me! You listen to me!
好吧。等一下，听我说！
Since I have been waiting, four women, that's four, one higher than the number of centimeters I'm dilated have come and gone with their babies.
我的子宫颈才张开三公分，就已经有四个女人被推进来，又被推出去，生下了孩子。
I'm next. It's my turn. It's only fair. And if you bring in one more woman and she has her baby before me I'm going to sue you!
下一个是我。轮到我了。那才公平。如果你再推个女人进来，她又比我先生，我就要告你了。
Not this hospital. I'm gonna sue you. And my husband is a lawyer.
不告这家医院，我要告你。我先生是律师。
Rach? Go get back on that case honey!
瑞秋？ 你继续处理那个案子，亲爱的！
I don't think the next patient is very far along.
我想下一位产妇不会太快生。
Okay. Well, then bring her in.
好吧，那把她推进来吧。
Oh, my God!
我的天啊！
I can't believe this!
我简直不敢相信！
And yet, somehow, it's true.
但这却是真的。
I mean, this is so great. We're gonna be baby buddies!
这简直太棒了。我们可以指腹为婚！
Squeeze your legs together and cover the baby's ears.
把你的双腿并拢，别让宝宝听见。
Hi, sweetie! Hi, sweetheart.
嗨，老婆！ 嗨，老公。
This is my husband, Sid. I don't think you've met him.
他是我丈夫希德，你们应该没见过他。
Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologist's office.
罗斯，瑞秋，他是希德。一年前我在皮肤科诊所认识他。
Thank God for adult acne!
还好我长了成人型青春痘！
I still can't believe it. I'm the luckiest guy in the world.
我还是不敢相信。我是全世界最幸运的人。
Really?
真的吗？
What'd he say?
他说什么？
Oh you know what? You have to speak very loudly when you're talking to Sid, 'cause he's almost completely deaf.
你得大声一点，他几乎完全失去听力了。
Oh, there you go.
我就说嘛。
So, congratulations, you two. I didn't even know you got married.
恭喜你们。我都不知道你们结婚了。
Oh, we didn't. No no. We... What?
我们没结婚。 不不，我们…… 什么？
We're just having this baby together, but that's all, you know.
我们只是要一起生下这个孩子，就是那样。
Why?
为什么？
Uh well umm...we're just not in that place, you know? But we're very excited about this.
我们还没到那个程度，知道吗？但我们很期待宝宝的出生。
Oh. Well, then shut me up.
那我就没话说了。
Just tell me how.
告诉我该怎么办。
Oh, I feel another one coming.
我又开始阵痛了。
