When Captain Cook asked the chiefs in Tahiti why they always ate apart and alone, they replied, Because it is right. If we ask Americans why they eat with knives and forks, or why their men wear pants instead of skirts or why they may be married to only one person at a time, we are likely to get similar and very uninformative answers because it 's right, because that 's the way it 's done, because it 's the custom or even I don 't know. The reason for these and countless other patterns of social behavior is that they are controlled by social norms shared rules or guide lines which prescribe the behavior that is appropriate in a given situation. Norms define how people ought to behave under particular circumstances in a particular society. We conform to norms so readily that we are hardly aware they exist. In fact we are much more likely to notice departures from norms than conformity to them. You will not be surprised if a stranger tried to shake hands when you were introduced, but you might be a little s tartled if they bowed, started to stroke you or kissed you on both cheeks. Yet each of these other forms of greeting is appropriate in other parts of the world.
