Baby Suggs leaned back into the peppers and the squash vines with her hoe. Carefully, with theblade at just the right angle, she cut through a stalk of insistent rue. Its flowers she stuck through asplit in her hat; the rest she tossed aside. The quiet clok clok clok of wood splitting reminded herthat Stamp was doing the chore he promised to the night before. She sighed at her work and, amoment later, straightened up to sniff the disapproval once again. Resting on the handle of the hoe,she concentrated. She was accustomed to the knowledge that nobody prayed for her — but thisfree floating repulsion was new. It wasn't whitefolks — that much she could tell — so it must becolored ones. And then she knew. Her friends and neighbors were angry at her because she hadoverstepped, given too much, offended them by excess.
Baby closed her eyes. Perhaps they were right. Suddenly, behind the disapproving odor, way wayback behind it, she smelled another thing. Dark and coming. Something she couldn't get at because the other odor hid it.
She squeezed her eyes tight to see what it was but all she could make out was high-topped shoesshe didn't like the look of. Thwarted yet wondering, she chopped away with the hoe. What could itbe? This dark and coming thing. What was left to hurt her now? News of Halle's death? No. Shehad been prepared for that better than she had for his life. The last of her children, whom shebarely glanced at when he was born because it wasn't worth the trouble to try to learn features youwould never see change into adulthood anyway. Seven times she had done that: held a little foot;examined the fat fingertips with her own — fingers she never saw become the male or femalehands a mother would recognize anywhere. She didn't know to this day what their permanent teethlooked like; or how they held their heads when they walked. Did Patty lose her lisp? What colordid Famous' skin finally take? Was that a cleft in Johnny's chin or just a dimple that woulddisappear soon's his jawbone changed? Four girls, and the last time she sawthem there was no hairunder their arms. Does Ardelia still love the burned bottom of bread? All seven were gone or dead. What would be the point of looking too hard at that youngest one? But for some reason they let herkeep him. He was with her — everywhere.
When she hurt her hip in Carolina she was a real bargain (costing less than Halle, who was tenthen) for Mr. Garner, who took them both to Kentucky to a farm he called Sweet Home. Becauseof the hip she jerked like a three-legged dog when she walked. But at Sweet Home there wasn't arice field or tobacco patch in sight, and nobody, but nobody, knocked her down. Not once. LillianGarner called her Jenny for some reason but she never pushed, hit or called her mean names. Evenwhen she slipped in cow dung and broke every egg in her apron, nobody said youblackbitchwhat'sthematterwith-you and nobody knocked her down.
n. 厌恶,反感,[物]排斥,斥力