范文点评：
1.开篇简要解释名言的含义，指出坚持才能胜利。
2.引出坚持是通向成功之路这一论点，紧扣作文话题。
3.反面论证：指出一夜成名不可取。
4.举例论证坚持的重要性，论据充分，论证有力。
5.例证后作进一步的分析，论述坚持的含义。
6.末段重申观点，再次强调坚持的重要性。
句法点评：
1. The famous remark “He laughs best who laughs last,” which is known to us all, means that only people who are persistent can finally achieve success.
本句主干是The famous remark means that...，而“He laughs best who laughs last”是remark的同位语，that引导宾语从句；句中which引导非限制性定语从句，补充说明“He laughs best who laughs last”，that引导的宾语从句中又包含了who引导的定语从句。
2. Many people who failed did not know how close they were to success when they gave up.
此句短小精悍，用到了Who引导的定语从句，how引导的宾语从句，when引导的状语从句，句式变化多样。

范文点评：
1.开篇简述给定话语的含义，结合话语含义给出文章论点：如何生活完全取决于自己的选择。
2.自然过渡，第二段引出生活充满选择，紧扣作文话题。
3.第二段主体部分用反面论证的方式阐述选择碌碌无为的生活只会给人留下悔恨。
4.末段按照题目要求就如何选择更好的生活给出了自己的看法并进行论述。
句法点评：
1. It’s absolutely true that life is all about choices.
It’s absolutely true that...意为“毫无疑问......”，是引出观点的句式。
2. But unfortunately, a mediocre life leaves you trapped in everyday habits: part numb, part frightened part indifferent and you spend vainly the best of your days achieving little.
这里运用了 leave sb. done的结构，这种结构的使用使句子含义的表达更加紧凑。