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You know, I flew in this morning from L.A., and we're here in New York, and something that I'll repeat in my head over and over is "Resist nothing," which seems so silly, but to me it's a real key to happiness, is trying to, again, Richard Rohr says, "Love is learning to say yes to what is."
今天早上我从洛杉矶出发，现在我们在纽约，我会一遍又一遍在脑海中重复“不要抗拒任何事物”，这好像挺蠢的，但对我来说，这就是快乐的不二法门，就像理查德·罗尔说的，“爱就是学着接受事实”。
And that is one of the most fundamental principles of this sort of thought prism, is learning to say yes to what is.
这似乎就是这种思想最基本的原则，学着接受事实。
As Eckhart Tolle says, "It's madness to resist what's happening."
正如埃克哈特·托利所说，“抗拒正在发生的事情就是疯狂”。
It is madness.
确实是疯狂。
Obviously, if you can change something, if something is unpleasant or physically painful, and you can pivot, yeah, resist, resist- like, I'm all for that.
很明显，如果你能改变某些事情，如果不愉快的事情，或者让你的身体感到痛苦的事情正在发生，而你能避开，那就抗拒它，我支持。
But if your flight is delayed, you can watch people start suffering.
但如果是航班延误了，你会看到人们很痛苦。
So, there's an unpleasant thing happening: a flight has been delayed, but the suffering happens when you start, and you can watch this happen from what other people and myself call the 'witness plays.'
没错，一件不愉快的事情发生了：航班延误了，但如果你开始，用我和别人的话来说叫“证人扮演”的时候，你能看到它在发生，你的痛苦就开始了。
You watch yourself constructing a story, and this is where suffering comes.
你会看到自己构造出一个故事，这就是痛苦的来源。
It's your attachment to how you think things should be.
它是你对事情应该是什么样子的认知。
And of course, I still do this.
当然了，我也会这么做。
Please don't think- I'm sitting in a chair, I'm not floating.
别觉得--我也是活在现实中的人，并不是幻想中。
But you see the story begin to happen, and you go, "Delta or United should do better. They're always doing this."
你会看到故事开始发生，会觉得“Delta或者United应该做的更好。它们总是误机”。
That's like the first level.
这是第一层级。
And then you start going like, "I'm going to miss this thing," or, "I'm going to be late to the dinner."
然后你会想“我要错过这件事”或者“我跟不上吃晚饭了”。
And, "Damn it, my ticket costs this much."
还有“该死，我的机票花了那么多钱”。
And you know, this is the narrative that we build.
这就是我们会建立起来的说辞。
Really, something has happened. The flight is delayed.
没错，发生了一件事，航班延误了。
Maybe it was completely preventable, but it's happening.
也许它完全是可以预防的，但它已经发生了。
You need to find a quiet place inside where just the fundamental fact that you are participating in reality is enough value and dignity to draw upon at any moment.
你需要在内心找到一个安静的地方，在那里，你在参与现实这样一个基本的事实就让你有了在任何时候都能依靠的价值和尊严。
You only change through suffering. Otherwise, why would you change?
只有痛苦了，你才会改变。否则你为什么要改变呢？
Why would you change? It's working.
为什么要改变？行得通啊。
The things I learned about resilience through my time in prison is that human beings, I believe by nature, are very resilient.
关于恢复力，我在监狱中学到的是，我相信人类在本性上具备很强的恢复力。
And oftentimes we don't recognize our own resiliency until we're faced with obstacles and circumstance that challenge us and pushes us.
通常，我们只有在面临困难，或者那些挑战我们、推着我们的情况时，才意识得到自己的恢复力。
And it looks different for everybody.
这对每个人来说都不同。
You know, when I think about my journey in prison, I went through some very adverse experiences.
回想我在监狱中的经历，有很多极其有害的情况。
I had some significant obstacles to overcome, including, you know, long-term solitary confinement, which they estimate is designed to drive a person crazy after 90 days.
我有一些很大的障碍需要克服，比如长期的单独拘禁，为了把一个人在关押90天后逼疯。
And what I found in that environment is that people figure out ways to cope and to survive when they're forced to do so.
在那种环境中，我发现，在没有选择时，人们会想办法应对问题并活下来。
And for me, I found that I was very resourceful when my back was against the wall.
就我而言，我发现，当我孤立无援的时候，会显得格外智慧。
If you acknowledge what you're going through, and you recognize that it is an obstacle- that it's that dark moment- but you also realize there's light on the other side of that tunnel, then you can get through.
如果你承认正在经历的事，并承认它是个障碍-承认它是黑暗时刻，但你也要知道隧道的另一边有光，那你就能熬过去。
And to me, I think hope is probably the cornerstone of resilience.
我觉得希望可能是恢复力的基石。
As long as you have hope, you can come out on the other side of anything.
只要你心怀希望，就能熬过任何事情。
Once you dim the light of hope, there's no possibility of you coming out on the other side.
一旦你失去了希望，就不可能到达隧道另一头。
And to me, I think that's what resiliency is.
我觉得那就是恢复力。
I always looked at, "If I focus on the purpose instead of the pain, then I can get through to the other side."
我经常看着“如果我盯着目标而不是痛苦，我就能到达另一边”。
And that's how I live my life.
那就是我的人生信条。
And to me, you know, those things embody what resilience really is.
对我而言，这些就是恢复力的真正含义。
I would think three things, three of the ingredients toward being resilient is you have to be optimistic.
我觉得三件事，有恢复力的三个要素就是一定要乐观。
Optimism is such a integral part of getting through adversity.
乐观是克服困境不可或缺的一部分。
I would say a second thing is really being resourceful and figuring out in your environment what are things you can utilize to help you cope with whatever it is you're going through?
第二点就是一定要机敏，要知道在你的环境中，有哪些东西是你可以利用，来帮助你渡过难关的？
And then I think the third thing would would be, you have to have memory loss.
然后第三点就是要学会忘记。
I know that probably sounds crazy, right?
听起来很疯狂，对吧？
But what I've found is that a lot of times we replay memories that no longer exist over and over in our head.
但我发现，很多时候，我们一遍遍在脑海中回放那些已经不存在的记忆。
And what that does is it holds you hostage.
它会把你禁锢住。
And so, once you begin to release those memories and recognize that you can never reclaim that space or that time, or that experience- then you can move forward in life.
所以一旦你开始抛弃这些记忆，并且知道自己不会再去回想那个时空，或者那些经历，你的生活才能继续向前。
You know, because now you've taken the shackles off your feet and you're a lot more mobile.
因为现在你摘下了那些枷锁，你的行动更方便了。
And I think in order to be resilient, you have to not be thinking about what happened in the past, and you really just have to be focused on what you need to do to move forward.
为了有较强的恢复力，你一定不要回想过去发生了什么，你只需要关注自己需要做什么，让生活继续下去。
The first step of honing and strengthening our resilience muscles is to take the first step into the fear, into the unknown, into the uncertainty, that all of us- including the leader- have within themselves.
增强恢复力的第一步就是直面我们每个人，包括领导人内心都有的恐惧、未知和不确定性。
It doesn't have to be a big step.
不一定非得是一大步。
You're not, you know, you're not leaping a building in a tall bound, you don't have a superhuman cape, or a wand or Gandalf's magicfrom "Lord of the Rings."
你并不是在跳高楼，也没有超人斗篷，没有魔杖，也没有《指环王》里甘道夫的魔法。
You do have the ability to step one small step into that.
但你却可以向它们迈出一小步。
And the wonderful thing about charting the stories over time of leaders is you learn that each of these people get more resilient, and a little bit quicker about stepping into the fear, and a little more brave about stepping into the fear with each step that they take- and so it's accretive.
用图表来分析领导人们的故事，有一个优点，你会发现他们每个人的恢复力都在增强，在面对恐惧时更快一点，在面对恐惧时更勇敢一点，每迈出一步都是这样——所以它是在增值的。
It's about the mileage of moving into our fear just with a tiny step, tightening our core, squaring our shoulders, moving into it, and then getting more access to our inner strength, getting more access to our resilience.
在这个过程中，他们会一小步一小步地接近恐惧，收紧核心，挺起肩膀，走向它，拥抱更多的内在力量，接触到更多的恢复力。
So resilience is absolutely critical.
所以恢复力很重要。
And yet, I am absolutely certain that it doesn't come from on high, we can't download it on our iPhones, but we can discover it within ourselves, and develop it within ourselves and find it stronger and easier to get each time as we move forward.
然而，我相信它并非源于天上，也无法从手机上下载它，但我们可以向内发现它，向内发展它，并且每向前一步，就发现它变得更强大，更容易获得。
